2022-05-30
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Well, it's about time I bugger off and leave this stretch of time
behind me. I have a slight feeling of dread but that's to be
expected. Last time I had something recreational planned involving
a plane, a pandemic hit.

I expect to be packing, unpacking and repacking the backpack for
several times before I catch the plane. Even thought I know I will
not run our of practical every-day survival methods on the road,
I am not able to just trust that I didn't forget something
essential.

I guess my biggest fear is not going all the way. Maybe running
out of money and not being able to sustain myself. Although, even
this fear is unreasonable. I have been on the road before with not
a dime on me, and I have reached the destination. This time it is
even less of a problem since there is a tradition on the road to
Santiago to beg your way through, so I guess I can just join that
crew if I am actually broke.

Maybe the fear is more connected to the fact that I have decided
to do this on my own and I have told people about it. In the past
my trips have been somehow more conditioned on other people doing
something or circumstances being so that it gives me an excuse to
travel. Now I am just saying that this is what I want to do, so
failing would be worse.

At the same time, I know I have to keep my mind in a humble state
when it comes to obstacles. If I get sick and have to call the
trip off or cut it short, then that's how it has to be.

It's a balancing act. There is also the fact that at my age the
cultural niche this effort is inevitably put is a midlife crisis,
but fine, I don't really mind. I've had a burnout already,
probably two or three, so what's one more semi-public mental
extremity?

Off to Camino del Norte. See you in six to eight weeks.

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