2022-07-23
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Stepping back, over the threshold, I feel slightly surprised to 
find the apartment exacly as I left it. Should it not have changed
somehow?

The Camino was more than I dared hope for. Yet, most things that
were the Core of Meaning will not sound like much as I write them.
Two of these things are the sense of time and the sense of space.

It feels like I was gone less time than I was but within that
time more things happened than should have fit in. And also,
most of the time, nothing happened. Just one foot in front of
another.

The space turned into something that can be measured with the
action of my body. Now 25 kilometers has a very different meaning
to me than before. It is a day's walk. It also is about three
mountains to cross, three valleys. 

I also notice the space immediately around me differently.
I am aware that by walking I am limiting the view into what is
in front of me. The landscape to the left is completely discarded
by the action. Yet, the action is what brought me to the 
possibility of viewing that landscape.

The people, they are different too. The Walkers (as I like to
call them) are really a fine selection. Maybe it is the
circumstance they are in, maybe it's because of the activity
they are engaged in? I am quite sure it is not anything 'static'
like personality type or such. Well, they have to have a few
specific personality traits to go on a Camino, but other than that, 
it seems like they are quite different people from each other.

The usual Walker is sort of open minded person who is willing to
talk to you or not talk, depending on whether it seems you are
interested in having a chat. Most seem very 'self-possessed',
even introverted. There is a sense of purpose or goal in them,
but not many are rushing ahead blindly.

I don't know if it was because of me or because of the Camino I
had chosen, but for the first three weeks I walked alone. It
could be that the Camino del Norte had selected for more
introverted Walkers. It also makes sense for my mental state to
walk alone. I needed the meditation and I got it. By the third
week my mind had slowed down considerably. The narratives were
not haunting me with their full force.

Walking alone doesn't mean being alone, though. I met tens of
people again and again. It is a funny 'filter' of who you meet
again, it's your walking speed.

There are more filters. The cultural background and connections
to other cultures. I found that I talked most with the Germans
and their relatives. This was sort of unexpected. I would have
thought that I would have stronger connection with Americans,
but it turns out it extends only to the Northeastern part, at
least based on the limited selection. This makes me think I
should probably consider traveling to the other parts of USA at
some point.

Another filter that I didn't realize at all before finding a
walking partner: Sex. It became blazingly obvious after walking
an hour in female company that the way I am observed is a lot
more negative when I am a 'lone male'. This I of course knew on
some theoretical level, but to see the change was something quite
eye-opening. Basically all the people we came across were now
waving 'Buen Camino!' to us, no matter if they were Walkers or
locals. But when I was alone, about half of the locals would
not answer to a greeting. Of course, this prejudice is deserved
when looking at the sex distribution of violent crime, for
example, but still, it is amazing to see it in such stark
contrast. The flip of the coin, as my Partner pointed out, is
that for her to walk alone is also different, as she can see the
local men acting more brazenly towards her than when walking with
a man. It's a vicious circle and something that I don't think will
ever go away. I must point out, though, that the female Walkers
were not as clearly prejudiced against me compared to the locals, 
no doubt because we were 'the same tribe' in a way, for having
come there with similar reasons and a common goal.

As for the reasons, it seemed that many if not most of the older
people had some event full of meaning behind them. I phrase it
like that because I don't want to say a 'tragic event' since some
of these events are not negative but have similar emotional 
potential as a 'tragic event' has. Anyway, it was somehow almost
a subtle agreement not to talk about the Event that much. It is
funny, it's like the people were visibly 'porous' and not hiding
their brokenness but at the same time only softly touching the
Event. It could be that this was something I was bringing in and
not them, I can't know. This was the first three weeks, the time
I was in a state of not talking about the Event, so maybe it was
mirrored back?

The younger people were not there because of an Event. They were
there to have an Experience. I can relate to that. I think the 
Camino is actually a really nice 'platform' for cross-generational
thought-exchange. On the fourth week, when I was walking with a 
Partner, we were also walking with a bunch of twenty-somethings,
and it was a very open athmosphere for conversation. It quite
reminded me of some special moments with my younger relatives, but
it was not just a fleeting moment, but days of interaction. 
Another little pointer to the disconnected world we live in: The
only 'platforms' for inter-generational communication are 
weddings, funerals and children's birthdays.

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