2022-08-21
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I hover between states of respect and humiliation. At work I am
seen as a person who gets stuff done and has deep knowledge of
and around his field. But socially I am seen as a lesser person
somehow. There is a sort of a dance between these states.

It is my social anxiety that makes me stay off the mainstream
avenues of information. Not being there makes me not dilute
everything I may have to say based on the most fragile person
around. You see, if I actually do say something in real life,
it just so happens there is never anyone as fragile around as
you'll find online. It's the scaling effect.

You do see the contradiction here? I am too fragile to be there
but find that the most fragile people there are making me less
bold. Maybe it's not a contradiction. Just different ways to be
fragile.

In any case, it seems to me that by not countering the inevitable
hate online, I am able to make some real world progress with the
very same logic and the same arguments. If I had tried it first
online, I would have been dispirited from using it offline.
Just something to consider.

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