2019-01-25 - How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And How To Listen =============================================================== So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish ==================================================== Possibly the most awkwardly long book title that i have reviewed yet. Chapter 1, Dealing With Feelings ================================ * Identify thoughts and feelings, putting them into words. * Acknowledge feelings with a word or sound. Oh... Mmm... Uh... I see... * Give in fantasy what you can't give in reality. * Accept feelings and show empathy, but keep firm limits about unacceptable behavior. Chapter 2, We're Still "Making Sure" ==================================== Skills for engaging cooperation: * Instead of giving orders, describe the problem. * Rather than attack, describe how you feel. * Instead of blaming, give information. * Instead of threats or orders, offer a choice. * Instead of a long lecture, say it in a word. * Instead of pointing out what's wrong, state your values and/or expectations. * Instead of angry reprimands, do the unexpected. Humor instead of criticism. * Instead of nagging, put it in writing. Chapter 3, To Punish Or Not to Punish ===================================== * State your feelings * State your expectations * Offer a choice * Show how to make amends * Take action For real change to take place, teenagers need to do their emotional homework. And punishment interferes with that important process. Chapter 4, Working It Out Together ================================== Resolution process: * Invite teenager to give their point of view. * State your point of view. * Invite teenager to brainstorm with you. * Write down all ideas without evaluating them. * Review your list and decide which ideas you want to put into action. Chapter 7, Parents and Teens Together ===================================== Expressing your irritation: Instead of accusing, blaming, or name calling, say what you feel, then say what you'd like and/or expect. Expressing appreciation: Instead of evaluating the other person, describe what they did and describe how you feel. author: Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine detail: LOC: HQ799.15 .F32 tags: book,non-fiction,self-help title: How To Talk So Teens Will Listen ... Tags ==== book non-fiction self-help