2023-04-23 - Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin ============================================= "Faux" self-care ================ [Fake self-care] always gonna be something that's prescribed from the outside. It's usually a noun, so it's usually describing some sort of activity or a product. It's something to buy or something to do. And it usually maintains the status quo in your relationships or in your family life or in your workplace, and it doesn't actually do anything to change any of these larger systems. Real self-care, four principles =============================== The whole premise behind real self-care is that I can't tell you what to do, because everybody's real self care is completely different. But what I can do is I can share four principles. And these aren't anything revolutionary. This is stuff that we hear all the time. Principle 1: Setting boundaries =============================== Setting boundaries and learning to deal with guilt. Learning to set a boundary is the only way that you can ever make space for yourself. Principle 2: Developing self-compassion ======================================= Actually paying attention to how you talk to yourself. [Sounds like meditation to me.] Principle 3: Getting clear on your values ========================================= This is the hard part, right? I mean, it's all hard. But this is the part where you need to use an internal lens to make the big choices in your life. Principle 4: Personal empowerment ================================= When real self-care is a personal solution and not a commercial solution, that is the only chance that we have to lead to collective action. What makes [the hard-work without immediate rewards] worth it [in the long-run] is that your life gets to be your own and you get to believe that your choices matter. The crux of it is it's not about the "thing," it's about the process you take getting there. ... So [your existing conception about self-care is] not necessarily wrong, but it may also not be enough. I think it's about understanding that the answers come from you, not someone else. From: What is "real self-care?" tags: article,self-help Tags ==== article self-help