(TXT) View source
# 2017-02-22 - Peaceful Conflict Resolution by Daniel Hertz
(IMG) Forest monk
The practice of Yoga and Meditation allows us to learn and develop
very useful relaxation and breathing skills. These skills facilitate
the movement toward more inner awareness. When these same skills are
applied to the external world, they can become valuable tools in
helping others find peaceful solutions to conflicts. Mediation is a
gentle approach for disputing parties to come together and discuss
and resolve their differences. The most difficult and challenging
problems can be resolved if each disputing party can slow their
breathing, relax their shoulders, and let go of any tension in the
forehead. As the Dalai Lama has said, "Peace does not mean an absence
of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving
these differences through peaceful means."
Many people are naturally very good at finding a way to resolve
conflicts peacefully. But this skill of conflict resolution is also
something that can be taught. Recently I was asked to train a group
of students, 18-21 years old, in peer mediation. It is in a school
for new immigrants in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Students from many
different countries come together to form a school community.
Usually the incidence of behavior problems is very low. Most of the
students are there to make the most of the learning opportunity. But
occasionally the wrong mix of students gets caught up in a divisive
way of thinking. This can result in conflicts between the different
language groups that causes hostility and even violence. The
students need to be shown a method to resolve their conflicts
peacefully. I have witnessed many times that peer mediation skills
can be taught to people of all ages and backgrounds.
A conflict between two people can either escalate or de-escalate.
This depends on the reaction of each person involved in the dispute.
If someone directs their anger toward you and you respond with anger,
the situation will escalate. If you react to anger with a calm,
caring, and compassionate tone, the situation will de-escalate. This
is always easier said than done, but it is possible. Often our first
instinct is to respond with anger when someone gets angry at you.
But we can learn from practicing Meditation that the reaction we have
is a choice. This choice does not have to be a reflection of what is
coming at you. It can be a reflection of what is inside of you. We
can also learn from Meditation that it is possible to detach, even
just a little bit, from the hold that a strong emotion has on you.
Through experience I have learned that it is not possible to resolve
a problem when both parties are at the peak of their anger. It may
be necessary to wait for a few hours or until the next day to begin a
mediation. Relaxation and breathing exercises can help speed up the
process of coming down from the anger mountain. If the two disputants
cannot resolve the problem on their own, it may take a 3rd party to
mediate the situation. Someone who can remain calm, relaxed, and
neutral in the midst of angry people can learn to become a great
mediator. The practice of Yoga and Meditation gives us these skills.
Daniel Hertz (E-RYT 500) is an award winning teacher and counselor in
the Minneapolis Public Schools and is on the faculty of The
Meditation Center. He is the author of two Yoga-Meditation related
books that benefit SRIVERM, the school in the remote Himalayas
founded by Swami Hari. For more information, please see:
(HTM) http://DanielHertzBooks.wordpress.com/
This is an article i saved from Ahymsin on February 28, 2016.
(HTM) http://ahymsin.org/
tags: article,conflict resolution,peace,spirit
# Tags
(DIR) article
(DIR) conflict resolution
(DIR) peace
(DIR) spirit