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# 2018-06-11 - Embracing Your Subconscious by Jenny Davidow
(HTM) Book cover
# Chapter 1
Most of your beliefs and expectations are based on your childhood
experiences, many of which you may not consciously remember. These
expectations and beliefs form a subconscious "blueprint" that
influences your present behavior and well-being, for better or worse,
far more than you realize.
Drawing on the Gestalt idea that you can enter into a dialogue with
subconscious parts of yourself, I began to create a series of
practical steps, which evolved into what I call Inner Dialogue.
Inner Dialogue enables you to shift from your normal conscious
perspective into a state of mind that includes the awareness of your
subconscious.
[See the Inner Dialogue tear-out page transcribed at the bottom of
these notes.]
... you can think of Inner Dialogue as the appearance of subtitles
in your subconscious movie. Through Inner Dialogue, you are
slowing down the action of your movie so that you have a chance to
explore each part of it, read the subtitles, and sort out all the
information.
To read a map well, you have to know the territory. And in the same
way, you need to know the territory of the mind in order to translate
subconscious code into understandable language.
# Chapter 2
Your subconscious is always influencing you. Even real events that
appear to be outside of your control can serve as communications from
your subconscious. I call such events waking dreams because, while
they are very real, they also convey subconscious messages. The main
clues that alert you to a waking dream are:
* intense reaction
* repetition
* unusual event
90/10 split: it is as if only 10% of your emotional response is to
the present incident; 90% is fueled by your subconscious remembering
similar events from the past. When you react very strongly to a
person or situation, your subconscious is using this waking dream to
get your attention... this is an ideal opportunity to take some time
to do internal dialogue. Internal dialogue will help you sort out
what part of your waking dream is about your relationship with
yourself, and what part is about your relationship with another
person or a present situation.
A+B=C is a simple equation that explains how your subconscious can
either help you or hold you back. A is any event that happens to
you. B is how you react inside, your beliefs and attitudes. C is
your outcome.
Nature designed all of your parts to be useful. There is a price
that you pay when you overuse one part and ignore or reject another.
Inevitably, [the rejected part] will find a way to get your
attention. Waking dreams are signposts that remind you to reclaim
valuable subconscious parts of yourself. By paying attention to
waking dreams, you strengthen your relationship with your
subconscious. As a result, you will enjoy increased self-acceptance
and more ease in accomplishing your goals in every aspect of life.
Your inner child is the part of you that likes to play. [It] is
probably the most revitalizing subconscious resource you have. Not
surprisingly, the energies and qualities of the inner child encompass
many of the same qualities as the right brain and subconscious.
Inner dialog is a potent tool, since your subconscious perceives your
dialogue as a real event that can influence your waking feelings and
behavior just as much as a real event of the past.
Rites of passage mark an important transition from one stage of life
to another. Such transitions often have a strong charge attached to
them: consciously or subconsciously, they evoke powerful emotions.
All change and personal growth begins on a subconscious level,
outside of your conscious awareness. In your subconscious new
feelings and attitudes take form over a period of time. The
improvement appears first in your dreams and subconscious; then
manifests more noticeably in your daily life.
# Chapter 3
What you feel and do in a relationship may not always make sense,
even to you. Although you may find yourself in the grip of a waking
dream, you don't have to stay there. You can use inner dialogue to
learn about how your relationship with yourself influences your
relationship with others. When you speak _as_ the other person, you
will become aware of the subconscious thoughts and feelings that have
caused your waking dream. You will understand your interaction with
the real-life person much better...
In Eastern philosophy, life energy is made up of two complementary
parts: yin and yang, or feminine and masculine. Feminine energy is
associated with receptivity and inner-directed activities, such as
meditation and intuition. Masculine energy is associated with
outer-directed activities, such as competing, completing a task, and
asserting yourself with others. (You may notice from this
description that masculine energies usually correspond to left-brain
hemisphere abilities, and feminine energies to the abilities of the
right-brain.)
"In addition to reflecting my real relationship or marriage, my dream
conveyed an important message about my _inner marriage_ -- how I
balanced my feminine and masculine energies."
[Partners share responsibility 50/50 for what happens in a
relationship. Inner dialogue can lead to more understanding of your
part in the difficulty and, therefore, a more productive discussion
of any problem.]
Communication is necessary in order to help you and another person
resolve your differences.
If you are unsure how to negotiate with another person to get what
you need, the steps for inner dialogue can serve as guidelines. They
are remarkably similar to steps taken in conflict-resolution:
describe the situation from each person's point of view; express
feelings clearly; identify the conflict; negotiate a solution that
involves action from both people; appreciate each other's differences
as complementary qualities that make the relationship stronger.
The healing power of your subconscious is released by doing inner
dialogue. Inner dialogue takes you beyond your conscious thought
process; your emotions and physical experience while doing an inner
dialogue is what helps you to understand and resolve problems on a
subconscious level. Viewed in a right-brained way, even symbols that
at first seem negative are potential allies because they carry
valuable energy. Even a little of that symbol's strength, power, or
persistence will probably be very useful to you--when you consciously
direct that energy where you want it.
Through speaking as the symbol that represents the person(s) you
resent, you can actually de-intensify your emotional reaction to that
person. Inner dialogue is an excellent way to regain your balance
and perspective for the next time you communicate with the real
person.
# Chapter 4
What you can imagine, can happen. By using your imagination and all
of your sense to experience success, you give your subconscious a
"real" experience on which to build. As a result, your dreams are
much more likely to become reality.
When you do anything well, it is because you have done the same or a
similar task before. Repeated practice has conditioned you to do it
more effectively. Like an athlete who has trained for peak
performance, you can condition your subconscious to respond to the
challenges of everyday living with more creativity and vigor.
Lucid fantasy is a method to gently guide your subconscious toward
achieving a goal. A little-known fact about the subconscious is that
it stores the memory of a fantasy in the same way it stores the
memory of a real event. This means that lucid fantasy provides an
empowering memory which can transform a faulty blueprint and increase
your confidence and self-esteem.
Lucid fantasy follows a simple formula: 1. Imagine a positive,
pleasurable outcome to your dream or waking dream. See, feel, and
hear yourself actively resolving any problem or conflict and bringing
about an enjoyable or positive outcome. 2. Utilize the symbols in
your dream or waking dream. Turn adversaries into allies, fear into
confidence, conflict into cooperation, crisis into opportunity. 3.
Have an adventure that is fantasy-like and pleasurable, in which you
enjoy a new level of cooperation with your allies, as well as
increased strength, confidence, and creativity. 4. Receive a gift
from each ally. Feel the power of the gift, and the energy of your
ally, inside of you.
I developed lucid fantasy many years ago when i began to use a simple
formula attributed to the Senoi Tribe of Malaysia: confront your
dream enemies, rather than run away in fear, and transform them into
friends and allies. [This formula reminds me of the Feeding Your
Demons meditation led by Joanna at the Wind Spirit Dance Retreat back
in March.
(HTM) Feeding Your Demons Meditation
]
Lucid fantasy can serve as mental first-aid, to help you heal a
traumatic experience. Although your lucid fantasy cannot change a
real event that has happened to you, it does help you to change the
way you perceive the event and reduce your stress about it.
[The section titled Creating An Alternate Memory reminds me of time
travel therapy as described by Ahia.]
# Chapter 5
Hypnotic states in everyday life happen so naturally that most people
don't think of them as trance or hypnosis. The characteristics of a
hypnotic state are common, everyday experiences. Your attention
becomes focused on one particular area, and the rest of the world
seems to go away. Your perception of time and space may become
shortened or lengthened. Your emotional and physical sensations
become intensified, or dulled, to an unusual degree. Your ability to
recall past events may suddenly improve; or you may forget recent
events or recall them only vaguely.
Inner dialog, lucid fantasy, and self-hypnosis can be combined in a
hypnotherapy format that creates deep and lasting change in your
subconscious.
Positive trance: an empowered, resourceful state: senses more alive,
everything looks brighter, sounds clearer, and feels more pleasurable.
Negative trance: a powerless, painful, limiting, or stuck state. We
look through a dark filter at ourselves and the world. This is a
feedback loop of negative emotion.
Your body responds instantaneously to your thoughts--whether they are
conscious or not... Your "blueprint" serves as a direct command to
your nervous system, producing either relaxation or tension.
You can use a "mini vacation meditation" to imagine yourself into a
positive trance in which you feel relaxed and energized.
Whether problems are real or not, the obstacles you perceive have
their own kind of reality in your subconscious. Like a detective,
you can use your thoughts and symbols as clues that can lead you to
discover beliefs and attitudes that are limiting you or hurting your
health.
Negative trances occur when we can't stop thinking about an
annoyance, injustice, or problem--when it seems to take over. The
powerful mental dimension of illness is often overlooked. The more
you worry and imagine the worst, the more your weakness or pain seems
to intensify, perpetuating illness.
Many people who have experienced physical or emotional pain for a
long time have difficulty remembering what it felt like to be
healthy. Their illness seems to have blocked out the possibility of
anything else. This is what makes it a negative trance.
With self-hypnosis, you can interrupt a negative trance and increase
comfort, relaxation, and health. By remembering a specific
experience where you were healthy and energized, you can turn that
memory into a powerful resource.
One of the strongest impulses of the subconscious is to protect. ...
"Her subconscious might have a faulty blueprint that was robbing her
of energy and health, but like most subconscious blueprints, it was
probably designed long ago to protect her in some way. Rather than
try to interfere with or directly challenge a protective pattern, it
was better to negotiate a more adaptive form of protection."
Inner child meditation is a self hypnosis technique providing the
opportunity to gradually increase contact, trust, and communication
with your inner child. It has three parts: 1. Visualize a
comfortable, safe, and natural place. 2. Experience a nurturing
visit with your inner child in the present, with your adult self
giving love and reassurance. 3. Anchor the good feeling of
connection with your inner child--that is, touch your hand to your
heart to create a body/mind association that will help you experience
this good feeling again.
Rescuing your inner child is a hypnotherapy technique where you
imagine going back in time to change the outcome of a childhood
situation, a kind of lucid fantasy. It has seven steps: 1.
Experience a comfortable, safe, and natural place (and anchor) 2. Ask
the subconscious to provide a symbol or clue to help achieve the
goal. Develop the symbol into a metaphor. 3. Ask the subconscious
to provide a memory of an early experience when the limiting pattern
first began. View that memory "over there" on a "TV screen," while
remaining comfortable "over here"--producing a therapeutic
dissociation to ensure a safe, comfortable, and resourceful
experience. 4. Review the blueprint for limitation and its effect up
to the present. 5. Rescue the inner child. The adult steps into the
past to intervene on behalf of the child. 6. Create a new blueprint
for the inner child, one that supports an empowering new belief and
behavior. 7. Create an alternate memory of growing up. Experience
the inner child growing up safe and happy into an empowered adult.
# Chapter 6
Lucid dreaming involves a change in consciousness that is
unmistakable and often dramatic. You enjoy a sense of boundless
energy and power. Confidence and mastery are the norm.
In a lucid dream, you are aware that you are dreaming. At the same
time, you are fully participating in your dream... You experience a
heightened state of awareness in which you can make decisions and
choices that change and improve any part of your dream.
Many of the lucid cues seem almost playful, as though your
subconscious is saying, "How big a sign do i have to give you in
order to get your attention?" But when you read the signs that help
you to recognize a lucid cue and become aware that you are dreaming,
you often experience an immediate surge in vitality and enjoyment, as
though your subconscious is saying, "Now that we've connected, let's
have some fun!"
Cues:
* An intense body movement, often in air or water, followed by a
different state of consciousness or awareness.
* Sensations of light-headedness, coolness, or other bodily changes.
* Experiencing intense visual focusing.
* Seeing or experiencing something that fills you with wonder, awe,
or inspiration.
* Incongruity or improbability.
* Experiencing doubleness.
These lucid cues provide a specific vocabulary for lucid
consciousness. These cues can serve as indispensable guideposts to
help you cross the threshold to lucidity.
Lucid dreaming gives you the opportunity to bridge conscious and
subconscious states. In lucid dreams, you have double awareness as
both the observer and the doer, the conscious and subconscious parts
of you.
* You are aware that you are dreaming (you are the observer).
And at the same time,
* You are involved and participating in the action of the dream
(you are the doer).
Lucidity has no simple on-off switch. Rather, there is a continuum
of lucid awareness. On this continuum, you can experience semi-lucid
dreams in which you don't realize you are dreaming, but you notice
and enjoy something unusual or wonderful happening, or you notice
your own double, or that you've had this dream before. Recurring
dreams or patterns are a sure sign that your subconscious is
searching for a solution to some problem, or seeking to complete some
past experience.
It is possible to have lucid nightmares. Sometimes when you are
learning to master fear in dreams, your subconscious may choose just
this kind of experience--in order to drive home the lesson you need
to learn.
Musical expression, like dreams, comes primarily from the right brain
hemisphere and is strongly linked to our emotions. Music that has a
strong effect on you, either awake or dreaming, has much to say to
you as a symbol.
# Chapter 7
The Senoi Tribe of Malaysia, and many other cultures who recognize
the importance of dreams, encourage dreamers to bring back a gift or
creative product that they can share with their community. Many
times this gift is a song, a story, a dance, or a visual design.
# Conclusion: Personal Myths for Lucid Living
Everyone possesses a personal myth or hero's story which gives
structure and meaning to life events, subconscious blueprints, and
personal symbols.
You are on a hero's journey to discover who you are. This journey
often leads you to discover powerful blueprints and symbols which
bring you an awareness that you are much more than you conceived
yourself to be.
In your subconscious there is tremendous energy, ready to be put to
use. You are gifted with a colorful array of talents and abilities,
just waiting for the chance to come out.
Big dreams encompass a vision and wisdom far beyond our usual dreams.
They often seem to arrive at important transitions in life. Like a
rite of passage such as coming of age, these dreams point the way to
the next stage of growth and development. When your conscious and
subconscious work together, you will enjoy not only lucid dreaming,
but also lucid living. A cooperative balance between conscious and
subconscious parts of you (adult and inner child, masculine and
feminine, powerful and gentle) will very naturally lead to the same
kind of balance and cooperation in your relationships with others.
Lucid living means that you can communicate effectively with others,
discovering common needs, and forging powerful new alliances.
As in lucid dreaming and lucid fantasy, living lucidly enables you to
see the other person, group, or country clearly and compassionately.
You recognize your interdependence with other people and groups, and
are able to overcome fear of differences and fear of unknowns--this
time in the world. Lucid living means that you take an active role,
in your waking life, to bring your unique purpose and vision into
being.
Life presents each of us with a lucid choice: a path that leads to
fear and division, from ourselves and each other, and a path that
leads to acceptance and strong alliances both within ourselves and
with others.
When you can resolve your inner conflicts, you can resolve conflicts
with others. When you can see yourself clearly and compassionately,
you can reach out to others with acceptance and love. When you truly
embrace you subconscious, you bring the best of who you are into the
world.
Begin tear-out page
# THE INNER DIALOGUE
A process developed by Jenny Davidow, M.A. (C) 1982
Excerpted from Embracing Your Subconscious
## 1. Choose a dream, a waking dream, or individual symbol (one
## that inspires, puzzles, or haunts you). We'll call this your
## "dream."
* Write the dream in your journal, in the present tense.
* List the main symbols, as well as unusual symbols.
* List the contrasts you notice: i.e., dark-light, big-small,
confident-afraid, masculine-feminine, child-adult, etc.
## 2. Speak as the first symbol. (Begin with a symbol that is not
## you, the dreamer.) Say: "I am... (name of the symbol)" and
## describe yourself physically.
* "My job or function is..."
* "My unique qualities are..."
* "I am different from ____ (another person, animal, object of the
same category) in that..."
Remember that in dreams, real people whom you know in waking life
often symbolize aspects of your consciousness. If your symbol is a
person, speak as that person in your Inner Dialogue. In addition,
ask: How do I characterize myself as a person? What is my
personality like? For example, "I'm the kind of person that never
gives up," "I'm a terrific business person," "I'm very artistic," "I
thrive on adventure," etc.
## 4. As the first symbol, "What is happening from my point of view
## is..."
## 5. As the first symbol, "How I feel as this is happening is..."
## 6. Repeat steps 2 - 5 for another symbol in the dream.
(If you choose yourself as the second symbol, and if you are your
"usual self" in the dream, skip this step and go on to steps 7 & 8.)
## 7. & 8. Let each symbol say, in turn, to the other symbol:
* "How I feel about you is..."
* "My gripes toward you are..."
* "What I want to say to you is..."
## 9. Develop a spontaneous dialogue between the symbols. Some
## suggestions:
* Identify the Conflict:
- "What I don't like about you is..."
- "If it weren't for you I could..."
* Negotiate an Alliance:
- "It would be easier to trust you/accept you if..."
- "It would be easier for me to get closer to you if..."
- "It would be easier to let you come closer to me if..."
- "If you could be less ____ (overpowering, etc.),
I could be more ____ (friendly, etc.)"
* Define the Terms of Your Alliance "Let's make a deal: I will...
(do something specific for you) if you will... (do something
specific for me)." Now check in with the other symbol to see if
the "deal" is acceptable. Make certain the deal benefits both
symbols.
Keep negotiating until you get specific agreement. If it is
difficult to imagine a symbol's energy as valuable, try negotiating
to accept one molecule at a time; i.e., "By using one molecule of
your energy or strength, I will be able to..."
When you do not know how to begin to make a deal with a difficult
symbol, or if you reach an impasse in your negotiations, it is
helpful to go on to step 9-d before finishing with the "let's make a
deal step"
* Resolution and Integration:
- "What I like or value about you is..."
- "I need you in order to..."
- "If we could be allies and work together, we could..."
- "By joining forces and using your ____ (special quality or
strength) in my life, I can..."
## 10. At this point or earlier, think about the ways in which your
## negotiation and alliance with your symbol can help you to resolve
## an inner conflict and be more effective with others.
Notice in what ways your symbol(s) may picture, give voice to, or
give you a grasp of specific situations and feelings in your waking
life.
Think about the message or insight you have received on as many
levels as possible, such as relationships, career, creativity,
spirituality, health, and inner child.
End tear-out page
author: Davidow, Jenny
(HTM) detail: http://www2.cruzio.com/~twave/
ISBN: 978-1880732137
tags: book,lucid dream,non-fiction,self-help
title: Embracing Your Subconscious
# Tags
(DIR) book
(DIR) lucid dream
(DIR) non-fiction
(DIR) self-help