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# 2020-11-18 - A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines
A friend of my Dad recommended this book. He used it as an analogy
for the general population in the United States. Basically, we are
facing an inevitable death sentence because of climate change. At
the same time, as a whole, we are ignorant about what our situation
is and the reasons for it. We believe that this is just our lot in
life, and this is the way it has to be.
The writing reminds me of classic American literature that i read in
high school. It is easy to read and yet deep and thought provoking.
I appreciate the minimalism in the writing style. It felt as though
this story were crafted, and each word was carefully chosen.
The story is set in 1948 in Louisiana. It describes bleak and
hopeless living conditions. The story touches on a theme that i have
been encountering in my recent reading. That theme is about carrying
on, even when the situation is hopeless and all efforts seem doomed
to fail.
> No matter how bad off we are, we still owe something.
Another recurring theme is that of "girding one's loins" and "facing
the music." In Jefferson's case, he must come to terms and reconcile
his humanity with his unjust death sentence. For some reason this
brings to mind a totally different character. In The Kin of Ata Are
Waiting for You, the main character Bryant is an anti-hero who is
also out of touch with his own humanity. Where Jefferson was
innocent, Bryant is guilty. Like Jefferson, Bryant has to be dragged
against his will to his own salvation.
The story also reminds me of Flowers For Algernon. I could not tell
whether Jefferson had intellectual or developmental disabilities, but
he was terribly uneducated. Like Charlie, Jefferson presents himself
in a way that clearly shows his disadvantages. Like Charlie,
Jefferson has sudden personal growth and transformation.
What follows are excerpts, [my notes in brackets], and, of course,
spoilers.
# Chapter 1
[This chapter tells the story of how Jefferson came to be tried for a
murder he did not commit. He was in the wrong place at the wrong
time. Jefferson's defense lawyer pleaded that he was too foolish to
be held accountable, and basically denied that he was really a
person.]
"Gentlemen of the jury, be merciful. For God's sake, be merciful.
He is innocent of all charges brought against him."
"But let us say he was not. Let us for a moment say he was not.
What justice would there be to take this life? Justice, gentlemen?
Why, I would just as soon put a hog in the electric chair as this."
On Friday the all-white jury returned a guilty verdict after a lunch
break. On Monday, the judge sentenced death by electrocution.
# Chapter 2
[In chapter 2, Jefferson's god-mother Miss Emma meets with Lou and
her nephew Grant, who is a teacher. Miss Emma asks Grant to teach
Jefferson be a man. Already feeling trapped and overwhelmed in his
teaching position, Grant accepts this request out of obligation.]
"Called him a hog."
...
"I don't want them to kill no hog," she said. "I want a man to go to
that chair, on his own two feet."
I had told her many, many times how much I hated this place and all I
wanted to do was get away. I had told her I was no teacher, I hated
teaching, and I was just running in place here.
# Chapter 3
[Miss Emma Lou and Grant go to the plantation where they used to
live. There, they ask the plantation owner Mr. Henri to speak to his
brother-in-law, the sheriff, to arrange visitation rights for Grant.
The Mr. Henri is not at all sympathetic, but he agrees to speak with
the sheriff.]
"They called my boy a hog, Mr. Henri," Miss Emma said. "I didn't
raise no hog, and I don't want no hog to go set in that chair. I
want a man to go set in that chair, Mr. Henri."
...
"I need you speak for me, Mr. Henri," Miss Emma said. "I want the
teacher visit my boy. I want the teacher make him know he's not a
hog, he's a man. I want him know that 'fore he go to that chair, Mr.
Henri."
"And what do you plan to do?" he asked me.
I shook my head. "I have no idea." He stared at me, and I realized
that I had not answered him in the proper manner. "Sir," I added.
"You think you can change him from a hog to a man in the little time
he's got left?"
"I have no idea--sir," I said.
"But you're willing to try if I can get Mr. Sam to let you go up
there?"
"That's what she wants, sir."
"But you didn't put her up to this?"
"No, sir, I did not," I said.
He was finished talking to me. Now he wanted me to look away. I
lowered my eyes.
# Chapter 4
[Grant called his girlfriend Vivian and asked her to meet him at a
night club located in the "colored" part of town, which is literally
on the other side of the railroad tracks. She arranged for a baby
sitter and then met Grant at the night club. Vivian listened and
provided emotional support. Grant is apologetic for burdening her
with his struggles. Vivian encouraged Grant to keep coming to her
for support. She also encouraged him to accept the job of teaching
Jefferson.]
"Suppose I was allowed to visit him, and suppose I reached him and
made him realize that he was as much a man as any other man; then
what? He's still going to die. The next day, the next week, the
next month. So what will I have accomplished? What will I have
done? Why not let the hog die without knowing anything?"
"I want you to go up there," Vivian said. ... "If they say yes, I
want you to go for me."
"For you?"
"For us, Grant."
# Chapter 5
[This chapter is primarily a description of the miserly conditions of
the school that Grant teaches in, plus the poverty of the students.
Grant is hard-pressed to teach all of the students, and can only
accomplish it by having some of the upper-class teach the younger
class, freeing Grant to teach the upper-class. In other words, his
schedule is full. At the end of the chapter, Grant is summoned to
speak with Henri.]
# Chapter 6
[Grant pays a visit to the plantation at the time specified by Henri.
However, Henri keeps him waiting two and a half hours late. The
sheriff decides to allow Grant to visit Jefferson between 10 AM and 4
PM beginning after two weeks, but first he engages in a little verbal
sparring.]
Inez left the kitchen as soon as the white men came in. I tried to
decide just how I should respond to them. Whether I should act like
the teacher that I was, or like the n***** that I was supposed to be.
I decided to wait and see how the conversation went. To show too
much intelligence would have been an insult to them. To show a lack
of intelligence would have been a greater insult to me. I decided to
wait and see how the conversation would go.
... Believe me, Mr. Guidry, if it was left up to me, I wouldn't have
anything to do with it at all," I said.
"You and I are in accord there," he said. "But my wife thinks
different. Now, which one you think is right, me or her?"
The fat man snorted. He thought Guidry had me.
"I make it a habit never to get into family business, Mr. Guidry."
The fat man didn't like that quick maneuver. I could see it in his
face.
"You're smart," Guidry said. "Maybe you're just a little too smart
for your own good."
I was quiet. I knew when to be quiet.
# Chapter 7
[During the first week, the superintendent paid a visit to the
school. He is terribly out-of-touch, patronizing, and racist at
times. This chapter seems to underscore the hopelessly impoverished
conditions of the school and the students.]
# Chapter 8
[During the second week, the school got a load of wood for heat
during the winter. The students had to saw and chop the wood into
stove-sized pieces after it was delivered. Grant has a flashback to
the time when he was a student chopping firewood instead of studying.
Grant has a flashback to his own cynical college professor.]
... Well, you will believe me one day. When you see that those five
and a half months you spend in that church each year are just a waste
of your time, you will. You will. You'll see that it'll take more
than five and a half months to wipe away--peel--scrape away the
blanket of ignorance that has been plastered and replastered over
those brains in the past three hundred years. You'll see." Then he
would be quiet for a long time, while we both stared into the fire.
# Chapter 9
[Grant and Miss Emma pay their first visit to Jefferson in jail. He
is neither communicative nor cooperative.]
# Chapter 10
[The next two visits go pretty much the same as the first one did.
Miss Emma left each visit crying. The fourth visit, Miss Emma cannot
bring herself to accompany Grant, but his aunt "makes" him go anyway.]
As I stood there listening to her, I realized that this had been
planned from the beginning. All that other stuff I went through was
to lead up to this day. ... Didn't she say it that first night at
Pichot's? "I'm old. My heart won't take it. I want somebody else
to take my place." Didn't she say it? Sure she did. Because it was
planned even then. But she had had help. My aunt.
# Chapter 11
[During the fourth visit, Grant and Jefferson have a confrontational
conversation. Jefferson insists that he is a hog and not a human.
Miss Emma cooked enough food to feed Jefferson and all his fellow
inmates. Jefferson turns down the food. Grant helps himself to some
of Jefferson's food. Grant tells Jefferson that he plans to lie to
his nannan and tell her that Jefferson ate her food appreciatively.]
# Chapter 12
[Grant takes some time at the pub and visiting Vivian at the end of
her shift at a school. He is trying to buy himself time to think of
a good lie to tell Miss Emma.]
"I wish I could just run away from this place."
Vivian shook her head. "You know you can't."
"Why not?"
...
"You know the answer yourself, Grant. You love them more than you
hate this place."
# Chapter 13
[Grant returns to his aunt's place and lies to Miss Emma about how
things are going for Jefferson.]
# Chapter 14
[Vivian pays a visit to Grant on a lazy Sunday afternoon. They have
coffee and cake at Grant's place, wash the dishes, walk down the
road, and then they make love in the sugar cane field.]
# Chapter 15
[They return to Grant's aunt's place just as she and her friends are
returning from church. Vivian's family shunned her because she
eloped and her husband abandoned her after she became pregnant.
Grant introduces Vivian and his aunt. His aunt is stand-offish.]
# Chapter 16
[Miss Emma pays a visit to Jefferson, who treats her and the reverend
unkindly. Miss Emma ends up slapping Jefferson and feeling badly
about it. Grant's aunt insists that he go visit Jefferson even
though he doesn't want to.]
# Chapter 17
[Grant pays a visit to Jefferson and they have a conversation. Then
the sheriff has a conversation with Grant. Unbeknownst to Grant, his
aunt, Miss Emma, and the reverend paid a visit to the sheriff's wife
and requested a meeting in a larger, more comfortable room or open
area where they could all sit down at once. Jefferson's cell is so
small that two people at most can sit down at once. The sheriff said
he would leave it up to Jefferson whether he wanted to remain in his
cell, or be shackled and handcuffed and meet in a larger, more
comfortable area.]
"I don't know when I'm going to die, Jefferson. Maybe tomorrow,
maybe next week, maybe today. That's why I try to live as well as I
can every day and not hurt people. Especially people who love me,
people who have done so much for me, people who have sacrificed for
me. I don't want to hurt those people. I want to help those people
as much as I can."
# Chapter 18
[Jefferson decides to meet in a larger area. However, he refuses to
eat, even when Miss Emma attempts to spoon feed him. Later, Grant
and Jefferson meet in the dayroom and they have a conversation.]
"No matter how bad off we are," I said, "we still owe something. You
owe something, Jefferson. Not to me. Surely not to that sheriff out
there. But to your godmother. You must show her some understanding,
some kind of love."
# Chapter 19
[Because of bad weather and road conditions, the sugar cane business
temporarily shut down and people stayed home where it was warm. The
time drew near for school Christmas programs, and Grant asked his
students to dedicate this year's program to Jefferson. The students
pooled together hard-earned change to get nice wool socks and a
sweater, which are a solitary gift under the Christmas tree. I am
not sure, but i think the gift was meant for Jefferson. They put on
a nice Christmas program.]
She was right; I was not happy. I had heard the same carols all my
life, seen the same little play, with the same mistakes in grammar.
The minister had offered the same prayer as always, Christmas or
Sunday. The same people wore the same old clothes and sat in the
same places. Next year it would be the same, and the year after
that, the same again. Vivian said things were changing. But where
were they changing?
# Chapter 20
[Late in February, the sheriff calls a meeting with Grant and the
reverend to tell them the execution date, Friday, April 8th between
noon and three. Grant goes on a long walk to avoid being the one who
has to tell Miss Emma.]
Twelve white men say a black man must die, and another white man sets
the date and time without consulting one black person. Justice?
They sentence you to death because you were at the wrong place at the
wrong time, with no proof that you had anything at all to do with the
crime other than being there when it happened. Yet six months later
they come and unlock your cage and tell you, "We, us, white folks
all, have decided it's time for you to die, because this is the
convenient date and time."
# Chapter 21
[Vivian becomes jealous of Grant's student Irene. Grant explains to
Vivian that like many others, Irene has put him on a pedestal. That
the burden of centuries of social injustice is inevitably too much
for black men, who end up abandoning and running away from their
families because they cannot take it. Grant goes on to say that by
putting him on a pedestal, black women are only increasing the burden
on Grant, making it all the more likely that he will break down and
fall into the same pattern of abandonment.]
# Chapter 22
[Grant visits Jefferson and makes several offers to try and cheer him
up. Grant offers to buy Jefferson a radio so he can listen to music
in his cell. Jefferson likes that idea. Grant has to borrow money.
Then he goes to buy the radio from a department store.]
# Chapter 23
[Jefferson listens to the radio non-stop. He refuses to visit in the
dayroom because the sheriff won't let him take the radio outside his
cell. Miss Emma, Aunt Louise, and the reverend are all of the
opinion that Grant should take the radio back. Grant begs to differ,
and says that the radio is the only thing keeping Jefferson from
feeling like a hog.
Grant asks Jefferson to meet his nannan in the dayroom next time, and
Jefferson agrees to. Grant offers to bring Jefferson a notebook and
pencil for journaling, and Jefferson accepts that. He also accepts a
gift of praline pecans from the school children, and asks Grant to
thank them. Grant is elated at this progress in Jefferson's
character.]
"Last Friday," I continued, "was the first time, the very first time,
that Jefferson looked at me without hate, without accusing me of
putting him in that cell. Last Friday was the first time he ever
asked me a question or answered me without accusing me for his
condition. I don't know if you all know what I'm talking about. It
seems you don't. But I found a way to reach him for the first time.
Now, he needs that radio, and he wants it. He wants something of his
own before he dies. He wants a gallon of ice cream for his last
supper--did he tell you that? Did he tell you he never had enough
ice cream? Did he tell you that he never had a radio of his own
before? Did he tell you any of this? He wants those things before
he dies. He has only a month to live. And all I'm trying to do is
make it as comfortable as I can for him."
# Chapter 24
A hero does for others. He would do anything for people he loves,
because he knows it would make their lives better. I am not that
kind of person, but I want you to be. You could give something to
her, to me, to those children in the quarter. You could give them
something that I never could. They expect it from me, but not from
you. The white people out there are saying that you don't have
it--that you're a hog, not a man. But I know they are wrong. You
have the potentials. We all have, no matter who we are.
A myth is an old lie that people believe in. White people believe
that they're better than anyone else on earth--and that's a myth.
The last thing they ever want is to see a black man stand, and think,
and show that common humanity that is in us all. It would destroy
their myth. They would no longer have justification for having made
us slaves and keeping us in the condition we are in. As long as none
of us stand, they're safe. They're safe with me. They're safe with
Reverend Ambrose. I don't want them to feel safe with you anymore.
# Chapter 25
[Grant gets in a bar fight with a bi-racial brick layer, after he
makes some harsh comments about Jefferson. Grant is knocked
unconscious by one of the owners. Vivian arrives to get him out of
there before the police show up.]
# Chapter 26
[Vivian takes Grant home. Vivian's ex-husband has come out of the
woodwork and demanded weekly visitation rights to his kids. It is a
move calculated to hurt Vivian and Grant. Vivian and Grant have
something of a lover's quarrel over Grant's bar fight.]
# Chapter 27
[The reverend confronts Grant about his agnosticism, and the state of
Jefferson's soul.]
"No, Reverend, I couldn't say yes. I couldn't lie to him at this
moment. I will never tell him another lie, no matter what."
"You think you educated, but you not. You think you the only person
ever had to lie? You think I never had to lie? ... I lie at wakes
and funerals to relieve pain. They sent you to school to relieve
pain, to relieve hurt--and if you have to lie to do it, then you lie.
... She been lying every day of her life, your aunt in there.
That's how you got through that university--cheating herself here,
cheating herself there, but always telling you she's all right. I've
seen her hands bleed from picking cotton. I've seen the blisters
from the hoe and the cane knife. At that church, crying on her
knees. You ever looked at the scabs on her knees, boy? Course you
never. 'Cause she never wanted you to see it. I know my people. I
know what they gone through. I know they done cheated themself, lied
to themself--hoping that one they all love and trust can come back
and help relieve the pain."
# Chapter 28
[Grant and Jefferson have a deep conversation. Grant asks Jefferson
to walk like a man, to do things to please his nannan, to give her
hope that they will meet in heaven. Jefferson says he wants to go
with dignity, like Jesus, without mumbling a word.]
"Yes, I'm youman, Mr. Wiggins. But nobody didn't know that 'fore
now. Cuss for nothing. Beat for nothing. Work for nothing.
Grinned to get by. Everybody thought that's how it was s'pose to be.
You too, Mr. Wiggins. You never thought I was nothing else. I
didn't neither. Thought I was doing what the Lord had put me on this
earth to do."
# Chapter 29
[This chapter is Jefferson's diary, which is painful to read because
of his poor writing skills. This is the part that reminds me of
Flowers For Algernon.]
"good by mr wigin tell them im strong tell them im a man"
# Chapter 30
[The preparation for the execution is described in detail, and it
sounds like quite a spectacle. When they are shaving Jefferson, he
asks Paul, one of the deputies who is relatively friendly, whether he
will be there at the execution too. Paul agrees to be there. Grant
declined the sheriff's invitation to attend the execution.]
# Chapter 31
[On the day of the execution, Grant instructs his class to take a
knee and pray at noon. Grant goes on a walk. Toward the end of his
walk, Paul drives up and hands him Jefferson's notebook. Paul offers
to be Grant's friend and they shake hands.]
Don't tell me to believe. Don't tell me to believe in the same God
or laws that men believe in who commit these murders. Don't tell me
to believe that God can bless this country and that men are
[supposedly] judged by their peers. Who among his [Jefferson's]
peers judged him? ... No, his peers did not judge him--and I will
not believe.
"He was the strongest man in that crowded room, Grant Wiggins," Paul
said, staring at me and speaking louder than was necessary. "He was,
he was. I'm not saying this to make you feel good, I'm not saying
this to ease your pain. ... When Vincent asked him if he had any last
words, he looked at the preacher and said, 'Tell Nannan I walked.'
And straight he walked, Grant Wiggins. Straight he walked. I'm a
witness. Straight he walked."
author: Gaines, Ernest J., 1933-2019
(TXT) detail: gopher://gopherpedia.com/0/A_Lesson_Before_Dying
LOC: PS3557.A355 L47
tags: book,fiction,philosophy,race
title: A Lesson Before Dying
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(DIR) fiction
(DIR) philosophy
(DIR) race