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# 2022-11-02 - Your Resiliency GPS by Eileen McDargh
I enjoyed the hiking metaphors in this book. The title refers to
GPS, short-term goals are referred to as temporary camp sites, and
faith is referred to as a hiking pole to help steady your course. I
like that the homework is organized into specific, step-by-step
actions, providing a ready-made framework or method to follow in
order to cultivate resiliency skills. It is peppered with good humor
and optimism.
Many of the worst choices are a result of not knowing better, or
abdicating and failing to truly make a choice. In my opinion the
value of this book is that it raises awareness, showing that there is
a way to be stronger and more capable of weathering the storms of
life. If one is willing to "listen," to believe that this way could
possibly work, and to sincerely desire more vitality in day-to-day
living, then these should be enough to get started. Knowing better,
how can we help but make improved choices?
What follows are exercises and excerpts from the book.
# Dump The Dictionary
In short, human resiliency is far deeper and more encompassing than
how the dictionary defines "resilience."
Resilience is seriously hard work, requires body, mind, and spirit to
be engaged. It requires learning from errors and that takes
humility. It can take collaboration and connecting with others an
that takes interpersonal skills. Some parts might be easier than
others, but all adjustment requires effort.
Resiliency is about sustaining an organization, a life, a
relationship. Resiliency is complex, multidimensional, personal as
well as professional. It's about growing through the dark night of
the soul and finding sunrise on the other side. Presilience is
practicing it now, building pre-emptive resources within yourself,
your organization, your world. [In other words, being pro-active.]
# Chapter 2, Nature or Nurture?
In [Bonnie] Bernard's work, she concludes that we have an inborn
capacity for transformation and change.
Fast-forward to 2012. Dr. Steven Southwick and Dr. Dennis Charney
amass twenty years of research for their book Resilience: The Science
of Mastering Life's Greatest Challenges. ... they discover that
resiliency is common and can be seen everywhere. More importantly,
they learned that many people can be trained to become more resilient.
## Lost Is A Place
Growing through opportunity or challenge always brings loss. Even if
the move is self-selected and wanted. What we accepted as our work,
our loves, our life, will shift. There is no going back.
Grief over loss has no timetable or automatic end.
## Setting Your GPS
Let's set your GPS by defining your destination.
* Where are you starting from?
* Where do you want to go?
* What do you want to have happen?
[If] You are not clear exactly where you want to end up. [Then]
think of incremental destinations--rather like temporary campsites on
a hiking trip.
## GPS Action
1. Decide if [whether] you want to explore a personal or professional
challenge/opportunity.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What does your situation look like? Define it for your personal
or professional situation.
2. What adjectives best describe where you find yourself?
3. What strengths do you have? If you can't think of any, ask
someone who knows you well.
4. What people, besides you, are in a similar situation? Do any of
them have an interest in growing? Have you asked them?
5. What short-term results do you seek?
6. What long-term results do you seek?
7. How would you recognize forward movement?
# Fueling Your Tank
Energy is the result of meaningful connections that add the spark of
potential and possibility--the catalyst for forward momentum.
In 2008, psychologists Salvatore Maddi and Suzanne Kobasa coined the
term "psychological hardiness." Their research said that individuals
could improve their physical and emotional health if they practiced
three dimensions:
* commitment: finding purpose in what you do
* control: focusing on what is within your control instead of
trying to change something outside of your control
* challenge: believing that you can handle whatever comes your way
and even if mistakes are inevitable, there is a reason and learning
to be had. This means you are change-receptive versus
change-adverse.
In order to develop a resilient spirit, we need to identify actions
that drain our energy and those which maintain or boost our energy.
## GPS Action
1. Identify energy drainers.
2. In your presilience logbook keep track of those events, people,
and beliefs that just suck the air right out of you.
3. Ask for help at work or home with an energy-drainer. Be specific
with your request--for space, delegation, advice, or suggestions.
Maybe even asking someone to [be] available to listen.
4. Identify energy-maintainers.
5. What gives you life in your step and a sparkle in your eye? ...
what renews your energy?
6. Sometimes, handling our energy-drainer creates an energy-boost.
Sometimes it IS the small actions that make a big difference.
7. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. If you can't change "the event," identify how you can choose to
respond to it. Can you amend it? Can you avoid it? Or perhaps
you have to accept it.
2. Who has been in this situation before and how can you ask for help?
3. Who can mentor you in the best way?
4. Have you listened to your inner voice?
5. How would a person whom you admire most (living or dead) handle
this?
6. What steps does your inner voice of wisdom say you must take?
7. How many items can you list that give you energy?
8. When was the last time you did any of these?
9. What do they cost? Chances are that most activities that give us
energy have little to no cost.
# Four Resiliency Skills
## Skill 1: Adaptability
Adaptability is predicated on finding multiple responses to any given
situation. It is foundational for resilience and literally rests
upon our ability to challenge old ways of doing things, to actively
seek different viewpoints, to be aware of sacred cows, and to know
that solutions can come from anywhere or anyone. Adaptability is
about thinking and feeling.
## Skill 2: Agility
Agility is the ability to move quickly and easily. Rewards center on
the willingness to act, to take risks, and to share results.
## Skill 3: Laugh-ability
[Laughter is] the shortest distance between your brain and your body.
The ability to find humor and generate a sense of playfulness
actually increases creativity. Free-form play and improvisation not
only break barriers but open up a world of potential ways to handle
situations.
## Skill 4: Alignment
To remain standing, humans too need bedrock. Resilient people and
individuals have a reason greater than themselves for keeping on. ...
there is a sense that someone or something matters.
# Adaptability
... seven options to consider when developing the skill of
adaptability.
## Option 1: Unstick Your Thinking
What we think matters. How we act counts.
Where do you find yourself today--this place called your current
location? In studying why some leaders and their organizations are
not sustainable, I realized there is a possible unwillingness or an
inability to clearly define one's current reality.
Think of your current location as patterned and formulaic.
In a 24/7 world where surprises are the new normal, where work and
life can shift in a nanosecond, there's a great need to challenge
current reality and common knowledge. In biological terms, the word
is requisite variety. Simply stated: The organism with the greatest
number of responses to any given situation is the one that will
survive.
We want to leave this current location and venture outward, thinking
and creating as many options for ourselves as possible.
## Professional GPS Action
1. Define as much as you can about your current professional
situation, process, and product.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Professional Recalculating Questions
1. Do you operate under the premise: "The devil I know is better than
the one I don't?"
2. Test the status quo. What is going on?
3. Why not change? Who says you can't?
4. What would happen if? Are you SURE?
5. What are the sacred cows that might bind your hands? [Maybe they
are sacred for a reason. Maybe the represent the values and
spiritual foundation that made it worthwhile in the first place.]
6. Can you practice "joyous anarchy" and explore other options?
7. Are you paying attention to core tasks in-house and contracting
out other tasks?
8. What are the things you are doing today that if you were not
already doing, you would not start doing? Why? Why not?
9. Was anything discarded that shouldn't have been? Was anything
discarded which now is relevant?
10. Are you stuck in that uncomfortable "comfort" zone? Might you
find being a victim more rewarding than being a victor? Let's
face it... sympathy and consolation have their own rewards. Your
energy will be depleted living in that zone and colleagues and
friends will move away. It's too energy-draining to be with
"sad-sacks" over the long haul.
## Personal GPS Action
1. Do you operate under the premise: "The devil I know is better than
the one I don't?"
2. Define as much as you can about your current personal situation.
3. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Personal Recalculating Questions
1. Define as much as you can about your current situation.
2. What are the challenges? What are the opportunities?
3. What resources are on hand? Resources are not only financial or
material, but also support people.
4. What is the worst thing that could happen? The best thing?
5. Ask "why" at least five times--fascinating exercise but each "why"
brings you closer to reality.
6. How shall you divide up the information gathering? If there are
others involved, who takes the lead?
7. How many options can you create for yourself? Even if you don't
like all of them, listing them out carries great benefits.
8. Are you stuck in that uncomfortable "comfort zone?" Might you
find being a victim more rewarding than being a victor? Let's
face it... sympathy and consolation have their own rewards. Your
energy will be depleted living in that zone and colleagues and
friends will move away. It's too energy-draining to be with
"sad-sacks" over the long haul.
If you are like the majority of humans, you might have looked at the
answers you wrote... and proceeded to [invalidate them].
You know the drill. Our monkey mind just chatters away, producing
what researchers say is approximately sixty thousand thoughts per
day! It's that internal, infernal chatter that can so easily build
up a wall of resistance. Amazingly, scientists also tell us that 95%
of those thoughts are the same as yesterday!
Here's the kicker: 80% of those thoughts are negative!
No wonder resiliency is hard work. We need help filling the black
hole of negativity.
## Option 2: Beware of Red Ants
ANTS = Automatic Negative Thoughts
## GPS Action
1. Take steps against negativity.
2. Catch yourself when a negative thought or expression comes flying
in your brain or out of your mouth. What did you say or think?
3. Can you flip it around into something positive? It's not easy to
do it and it often helps to have an optimistic partner who can help
you alter the thought.
4. Just say it. Write it. Repeat it. You don't even have to
believe it. What's fascinating is that our brains don't know the
difference between fact and fiction. The more I feed my brain
positive thoughts, the more I create a different roadway in my
brain. I begin to behave differently.
5. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. Where are you envisioning the worst?
2. What are the REAL chances the "worst" will happen?
3. What can you tell yourself--even if you don't believe it--that
could give you a more positive outcome?
I am not naïve. Affirmations can only take you so far. Consider
that research shows willpower outperforms academic performance by a
factor of two. What you desire to create can potentially overcome a
lack of skill. [And it can also be brutally difficult and come at
great personal cost.]
## Option 3: Practice Intelligent Optimism
Thanks to Dr. Martin Seligman, director of the Penn State Positive
Psychology Center... we now know that optimism can be learned.
Intelligent optimism is reframing an event, looking for other ways to
describe what is happening. Think of this as looking for the "gift"
in the "garbage."
## GPS Action
1. Get help from a trusted friend or family member if you need it.
I'd love to know what you write. Email me eileen@eileenmcdarch.com
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. Have you ever seen or heard of a similar situation what [sic] was
successfully resolved?
2. What conditions made that possible and how could you re-create
them?
3. Is your current situation permanent? Pervasive? Personal? [My
life is not permanent. Since it is mine, all of my situations are
personal. Since it is impermanent, all of my situations are
impermanent.]
## Option 4: Turn The Page
There's a tendency to want things to "go back the way they were."
Turning the page is both a mantra as well as physical gesture that I
teach to my audiences. It anchors the point in our brains and begins
to create a new mental pattern. Every time you hear yourself say
"things aren't the way they used to be," "there's too much change,"
or some such statement, take your dominant hand and gesture turning
the page while you mutter the words, "TURN THE PAGE!"
## GPS Action
1. Seek a turn-the-page buddy. Ask your buddy to call you on it
whenever you moan for the past.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What are you holding onto and does it serve you now?
2. What do you value about the past and how can you bring it into the
present?
## Option 5: Seek Others' Wisdom
Our willingness to ask for information and help exponentially
increases our adaptability--as long as we are willing to listen to
other voices.
## GPS Action
1. Design a method for getting input from others. Face-to-face is
always the best. Go to the people closest to and most impacted by
the event.
2. Decide whose input matters to the health of the organization. Who
will you ask?
3. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. Whose input do we resist and why? Might it be that cognitive
dissonance is operating?
2. Seek what others know. What possibilities could result as a way
of accepting some or all of this information?
3. Ask: What might be true? How can I most effectively respond to
this feedback? What needs to be changed based upon this
information? What am I/we resisting and why?
## Option 6: Serve Orange Juice
Years ago, I had the opportunity to meet Tom Kilpatrick, the then
head of training for USS POSCO, a steel operation in Northern
California. Tom told me of being sent to replace the commander of a
Navy ship in the South Seas. The commander had been removed "for
cause." The ship had the highest number of pending disciplinary
cases for that class of ship in the Navy AND the lowest rates of
retention.
Yikes. What a tough assignment. But at the end of two years, those
numbers were reverse.
I asked Tom what he did.
"I served orange juice," he said with a smile.
I asked him to explain.
He said that in the first week of his command, he was in his bunk at
night pondering how to turn the men around.
Tom thought... "What is the most miserable place to be on this ship,
in the middle of the night, in the South Seas? The engine room!"
He got up. Went to the galley, got glasses, and orange juice and
went into the engine room.
"Hey guys. I thought you'd need something cool. Now tell me... what
do we need to do down here to make this the best engine room in the
Navy?"
Think about it. He showed up where he was least expected. He came as
a servant leader bearing a gift. He asked a question and he listened
intently.
By morning, that story had spread like wildfire. He said it brought
him more loyalty than any action he might have taken.
Think about it. He couldn't grow the command if he didn't know. He
constantly sought input. He actively listened. He responded.
## GPS Action
1. In your presilience logbook, make a list of people to whom you
might "serve orange juice."
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What open-ended question might supply you with insights you might
never have [otherwise]? Begin your questions with these words:
who, what, when, where, why, and how.
2. When will you contact them? How will you do that? I suggest that
if face-to-face is not possible, at least make telephone contact.
Email is never conducive to fully fleshed conversation.
## Option 7: Seek A Wisdom Circle
Consider forming a Wisdom Circle. To form a Wisdom Circle, gather a
number of trusted friends around you. Briefly state what you are
grappling with. Then be quiet. You are NOT there to respond one way
or another. It's up to you what you do with that information or
input [from the Wisdom Circle].
Master activist teacher Parker Palmer calls this a "Clearness
Committee." Look at:
(HTM) The Clearness Committee: A Communal Approach To Discernment
(HTM) Video: Clearness Committee
(HTM) Video: Clearness Committee in Greater Detail
Started in the 1600's by Quakers, the Clearness Committee is a
practice that believes each of us has an inner wisdom, a teacher, a
voice of truth that can offer guidance. However, that voice is often
garbled by our insecurities, confusions, fears, or critical others.
A Clearness Committee helps you uncover answers within yourself.
## GPS Action
1. Ask yourself who has been in a similar situation and if you'd feel
comfortable asking their advice. Just because you ask doesn't
mean you are compelled to use their input. Write their names and
contact information in your logbook.
2. Decide which people you would like to call first--perhaps for a
cup of coffee or a meal.
3. In conversation, empty your mind of preconceived answers. Take in
without judgment.
4. Follow up later with not only a thank you but what you did with
their input. People like to know they have helped, even in some
small way.
5. Seek professional help from a counselor, a member of your clergy,
or a trusted physician.
6. Read books related to your current state. [To help give you
options and understanding.]
7. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What is the situation for which would you like clarity?
2. What specifically would make this Wisdom Committee most valuable?
# Agility
So far everything we've explored has to do with identifying what your
current location looks like (current reality, common knowledge,
"NOW") and finding multiple options. Now it is time to take a risk.
Action is the antidote for anxiety.
Here are seven actions to consider when developing the skill of
agility.
## Action 1: Control The Uncontrollable
We lose our way and become discouraged when we attempt to "take on
more than we can chew." We attempt to control something that is
truly out of our control.
I call this the Earthquake Litmus Test. I live in California.
Earthquakes will occur. I can't control an earthquake BUT I do have
actions I can take:
* Move from the state.
* I can make sure I have all the emergency supplies ready.
* I can have a detailed "plan" for all family members so we know
what to do.
* I can take first aid classes.
## GPS Action
1. Clearly write or talk about the desired outcome and then ask for
volunteers to be involved in crafting action. Why volunteers?
When faced with challenge or opportunity, you want people who are
already committed to moving forward. This is no time to have
nay-sayers.
2. Break actions into small pieces.
3. Create a short feedback loop. Nothing will sap your resilient
spirit [more] than proceeding full steam ahead and finding out six
months later that it did not work.
4. Reward effort. If an action did not work, cheer on the person who
at least tried and then sought out alternatives if it did not work.
5. Create an action plan that begins with some of the easier things
to accomplish. Being able to see results--even if small--boosts
your spirit.
6. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What are you trying to control?
2. Do you really have the power? The authority? The resources?
3. What can you REALLY control?
4. What are three easy steps you can take now, beginning today, to
grow your resiliency?
5. Who could be your action buddy--someone who will check in with you
to see if you did the one or two things you set out to do?
6. What are you afraid of? Face what you fear and lean into it!
Remember: ACT is more powerful than re-act.
# Action 2: Celebrate Small Wins
## GPS Action
1. Make it a daily practice to find someone to reward. It can be as
simple as saying "Thank you."
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What small wins can you reward yourself for accomplishing?
2. What have others done that you need to reward?
3. Can you make your reward something YOU see on a daily basis so you
are reminded of progress?
# Action 3: Exercise to Energize
When work and life seem to spin out of control, the fastest way to
know that aliens haven't hijacked you is to take control of your
physical body.
Aerobic activity of ANY intensity sends blood coursing through your
body, firing off synapses in your nervous system and brain. Such
activity actually lowers stress levels and ... those stress levels
stay down longer.
Exercise improves your mood. Regular exercise can increase
self-confidence and lower the symptoms associated with mild
depression and anxiety.
## GPS Action
1. Write down at least two physical exercises you believe you can
commit to doing.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What would help you keep this commitment to exercise?
2. How will you reward yourself for each time your [sic] exercised?
3. Do you need an exercise buddy? If so, who will you ask?
# Action 4: Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is basically slowing down, breathing deeply, and
maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of thoughts, feelings,
bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.
Study after study has shown the physical and mental benefits of
mindfulness in general...
Give yourself five minutes to breathe in to the count of four and out
to the count of six. Just pay attention to the moment. That's all.
Make mindfulness a practice in the morning before jumping out of bed.
Breathe. You have been given the gift of a new day.
End your day with mindfulness. Again, just breathe. Calm down. You
are entering a time of rest. Don't fill your mind with activity.
To read more:
(HTM) Mindfulness definition at greatergood.berkeley.edu
## GPS Action
1. Make a commitment to begin and end each day with at least three
minutes of mindfulness--deep breathing. No talking. Just
breathe.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What will you need to do to keep this commitment?
2. How will you learn more about mindfulness?
# Action 5: Consider Faith
Along the resiliency journey, faith serves as a hiking pole to steady
the course. It has been described as a belief in things yet unseen.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, the resilient spirit KNOWS that
"this too shall pass." The resilient person KNOWS that despite the
gloom of challenges or the trepidation of major events, the dawn
eventually breaks through.
## GPS Action
1. Look at a book, a video, or some article about an individual who
thrived despite all odds. What can it teach you about faith? By
the way, faith does not necessarily mean religion.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What is one action you could take now--a small one--that you know
would be an act of faith?
2. What is the best thing that can happen? The worst thing?
# Action 6: Practice Forgiveness
There's a gift somewhere in every relationship and event. Find it
and then say, I forgive.
## GPS Action
1. Determine if you are holding on to a grudge or anger and what that
feeling does for your spirit.
2. Write a letter (which you will NOT send) to this person and get
the emotion out of your head/heart and on to paper.
3. Have a ritual and burn or bury that paper. Turn the page. Done.
Next.
4. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. How would you feel if this event would vanish like smoke.
2. Does it serve you to hold onto this anger or grudge? Could it be
holding you back?
3. What lessons in how you behave might be learned from this?
4. Do you think the other person is holding onto resentment?
5. What would it mean to you to take a higher road?
# Action 7: Nurture Your Pit Crew
Who cheers you on at the finish line? Particularly if you come in
last?
How strengthening it is to tell your pit crew how much their
steadfast faith in you means everything.
## GPS Action
1. In your presilience logbook, write your responses [to the
recalculating questions]. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What are the names of your pit crew?
2. If you don't have one, how will you get one?
3. Whom do you want in it?
Sometimes, your crew might even include someone who is no longer
living but in your imagination. You KNOW what they would say to help
you.
# Action 8: Improvise To Strategize
I am a firm believer that at some point we all must go to the college
MSU--Making Stuff Up. When you can't figure out what action to take
try something--ANYTHING. As long as you keep the action on a short
leash with a short feedback loop and it's neither illegal nor
immoral... proceed!
## GPS Action
1. Think of a situation that confounds you now. What can you do that
is radically different? You might need some creative brains on
this one.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What is humorous about about the situation? How can you expand on
it, exaggerate, and make it even funnier?
2. What type of story would you tell about this situation: drama,
western, comedy, adventure?
3. Who can you involve in your improvisation? How will you introduce
the "scene" and then invite your partners to jump in and be
spontaneous? The first rule of improvisation is "accept what is
given." This means you don't correct or alter what your partner
says. Stay open to new idea.
# Laughability
"Laugh-ability" is my made-up word for the good sense to try and find
some way to spin an event so that you find something to laugh
about--no matter how small.
Resiliency requires energy. Laughter is high wattage and better than
gas!
## GPS Action
1. In your presilience logbook, feel free to plug in anything that
makes you laugh: one-liners, cartoons, jokes. Whatever.
2. Task yourself and possibly those around you to share one humorous
thing.
3. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What is funny about your current situation?
2. Where might others find humor?
3. What can you (or someone else) do to lighten the mood?
## Enter The World of Play: A Kissing Cousin To Laughability
The opposite of play is not work. It's depression. So states
psychologist Stuart Brown in his new book, Play: How It Shapes the
Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul.
Anacharsis, a sixth BCE philosopher insisted that we are to Play so
that you may be serious.
... play becomes the non-chemical stimulant for channeling stress
into productive outputs.
Play takes many forms. The trick is to find one that resonates with
you.
... note that play is as much as [sic] state of mind as it is an
activity.
## GPS Action
1. Give yourself permission to play. Put a play date with yourself
on the calendar and treat it as sacred, like meeting with your
most important client. Remind yourself that you'll be refreshed
and thinking more clearly if you play.
2. Find the play that best suits you. Start a Play Diary, writing
down moments of well-being. It might be times you remember. ...
Whatever it is--in the doing, you feel a sense of contentment and
joy.
3. Pass play along. Encourage others.
4. Martin Buber, German Jewish biblical scholar, believed that, Play
is the exultation of the possible. Isn't that what we are all
looking for now--what is possible?
5. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. When was the last time you played?
2. What is keeping you from it? Does someone need to give you
permission?
3. Can you memorize this line?
Don't take life so seriously.
Nobody comes out of it alive.
# Know What Stitches Your Soul
Along the journey to cultivating resiliency skills, rest and renewal
are balm to your spirit.
## GPS Action
1. Determine what stitches your soul.
2. Look on the Internet to find people who have used humor to deal
with challenge. Don't be afraid to share one (not hundreds) with
colleagues.
3. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. What can you do to bring a smile or a laugh to customers, clients,
family members, and/or neighbors?
2. What is stopping you? What might be the benefit to you?
# Alignment
The clearer you become on your values and purpose, the more likely
you are to grow through challenges or opportunity.
## GPS Action
1. Write a personal mission statement. Even if you are reading this
for organizational reasons, a personal mission statement becomes a
litmus test for many actions and decisions. It lets you monitor
your life's course, acting like an internal GPS. There's a
corporate mission but equally important, you have a personal
mission.
2. In your presilience logbook, write your responses to the
recalculating questions. Find someone with whom to have a
conversation.
## Recalculating Questions
1. Imagine that your soul has left your body but you can still hear
what people are saying about you. What do you hear? What do you
want to hear? IF you have children, what do they say?
2. Think of two people whom you admire and who inspire you. What
about them inspires you? What traits do you admire?
3. If money were no object, after you had all the fun you wanted and
payed whatever you wanted in bills, what would you do?
4. How would you know, each day, if [whether] you were living your
mission?
Remember, this isn't the Ten Commandments and chiseled in stone. It
can grow and change as you grow and change.
# Putting It All Together
My desire is that this small book [offers hope.] With positivity,
energy, and purpose, may you open doors to discover more ways to be
adaptable, to find ideas and encouragement from others, to respond
with agility as you try new actions, and ultimately to continue to
create a future that brings you alive with laughter and alignment.
Remember the word CULTIVATE. Resiliency requires cultivation.##
Recalculating Questions
1. Imagine that your soul has left your body but you can still hear
what people are saying about you. What do you hear? What do you
want to hear? IF you have children, what do they say?
2. Think of two people whom you admire and who inspire you. What
about them inspires you? What traits do you admire?
3. If money were no object, after you had all the fun you wanted and
payed whatever you wanted in bills, what would you do?
4. How would you know, each day, if [whether] you were living your
mission?
Remember, this isn't the Ten Commandments and chiseled in stone. It
can grow and change as you grow and change.
# Putting It All Together
My desire is that this small book [offers hope.] With positivity,
energy, and purpose, may you open doors to discover more ways to be
adaptable, to find ideas and encouragement from others, to respond
with agility as you try new actions, and ultimately to continue to
create a future that brings you alive with laughter and alignment.
Remember the word CULTIVATE. Resiliency requires cultivation. No
garden grows without tilling the soil, weeding, watering, and finding
what plants grow in your garden. Effort always precedes reward--even
in the dictionary.
Resources:
(HTM) The Energizer: Resilient Insights for Work & Life
# Personal Resiliency Assessment
What is your personal RQ--Resiliency Quotient
Using the following scale put a numerical value by each statement.
Numerical scale:
1. Never
2. A few times
3. Frequently
4. Without a doubt
1. ___ I believe in my ability to influence my attitude.
2. ___ I've handled challenges before, and I can do it again.
3. ___ I can look at a problem from many angles.
4. ___ I have work that is meaningful.
5. ___ I have a strong support network.
6. ___ I exercise on a regular basis.
7. ___ I clearly communicate my ideas.
8. ___ I am appreciated for what I do.
9. ___ People say I have a good sense of humor.
10. ___ I can see more than one option in a given situation.
11. ___ I am generally an optimistic person.
12. ___ By my own definition, I believe in a "Higher Power."
13. ___ I easily express gratitude.
14. ___ I ask for help when I need it.
15. ___ I am willing to try new things, to risk.
Score:
* 52-60: What a Rock! You're on a hero's journey!
* 42-51: Good resilience intentions. See what areas might need
improvement?
* 32-41: Time to get some help. In what areas can you get the
fastest, most visible results? Build from there. You might
consider hiring a coach.
* 15-31: Remember the dinosaurs? They did NOT grow forward. And
they did NOT GROW through.
Look at the low scoring responses for growth opportunities. Go back
through the book and see what strategies you can find.
# Organizational Resiliency Assessment
What is your organizational RQ--Resiliency Quotient
Using the following scale put a numerical value by each statement.
Numerical scale:
1. Never
2. A few times
3. Frequently
4. Without a doubt
1. ___ Employees readily talk about how much they like working
here.
2. ___ Management is known for asking employees their opinions.
3. ___ Management is known for listening to employees' opinions.
4. ___ Training is available for all employees on a regular basis.
5. ___ Managers are acknowledged for helping employees advance in
skill level.
6. ___ The organization has flexible work hours.
7. ___ People are treated as "whole people" with lives outside of
work.
8. ___ Management is willing to try new things.
9. ___ Management readily shares current information about the
health of the company.
10. ___ Managers have superb communication skills.
11. ___ The organization walks its talk.
12. ___ Managers encourage innovation and creativity.
13. ___ We trust senior management to act in the best interest of all
stakeholders.
14. ___ We are told bad news as well as good news.
15. ___ Our company's product/service is meaningful and valuable in
the marketplace.
16. ___ We are known for carefully listening to the marketplace, the
customers, trends, and the competition.
Score:
* 52-64: What a Rock! It's an organization of heroes!
* 42-51: Good resiliency intentions. She what areas might need
improvement. What can YOU do?
* 32-41: The organization needs help. Who needs to be involved?
In what areas can you get the fastest, most visible results? Is
this a training issue? Where is your sphere of influence? Build
from there. You might need some outside help.
* 15-31: Remember the dinosaurs? Grow forward they did NOT. Nor
did they GROW through! Time to get serious. Are there too many
changes? Does the culture need to have a serious adjustment? What
is in your sphere of influence?
Look at low scoring responses for growth opportunities. Do you see a
theme? Go back through the book and see what strategies you can find.
If all else fails call me 949-496-8640.
# Optional Exercises
## The Cost of Cheer
Write down five things that make you happy--whether walking in the
woods, calling an old friend, whatever. Take the first five that
come to your mind.
Next to each item, estimate the cost. Estimate how much time it
takes. What do you discover? What's stopping you?
## Inner Resilience: Your Past Is A Prologue
Jot down three of the most devastating experiences you have had.
Next to them, list the corresponding insights or lessons you gained
as a result. What does this tell you? What strengths did you use?
Do you still have those strengths?
## Accentuate The Positive
Notice your surroundings. What might be good about the current
situation? What are three positive things? According to Dr. Barbara
Frederickson, it takes three positives to overcome a negative and can
actually serve as a catalyst to bring more of what you WANT in your
life.
## From Scarcity To Abundance
List ten things you thought there wouldn't be enough of and you
survived. List ten areas where you have too much, not too little.
List 20-1000 wonderful things that entered your life at the right
time with no effort on your part. Start with air, sun, rain, and
more.
## Keep A Gratitude Logbook
This is one of the most powerful tools. I've done it on and off for
years. Life is much better when I write! Get a blank book,
different from the presilience logbook. Every night, write at least
three things you are grateful for. Some days, it might be as simple
as air and clean sheets. Don't stop. There's more!
## Develop A Want List And A Have-To-Do List
Are you living the life you REALLY want? So often, we make changes
because we feel like we HAVE to do it or we consume irreplaceable
time doing "have to do" things. Make a list of ALL the things you
have to do. Then, go back and honestly ask if the heavens will fall
and your life implode if you crossed some off?
Now, create a list of things you really want to do. Put down
everything, even those as crazy as swim with alligators (ugh--maybe
you are doing that now), take a world cruise, whatever. Think wide.
Think deep. Put a star by those things that are really deeply-felt
desires. What steps can you take to move toward them? Remember,
small steps matter. Celebrate small wins. Find out who can help
you. And grow through this opportunity!
author: McDargh, Eileen
(HTM) detail: https://www.eileenmcdargh.com/
tags: book,self-help
title: Your Resiliency GPS
# Tags
(DIR) book
(DIR) self-help