1-12-2019
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Revel in the absurdity of this hateful human condition. Cherish it. Many animals have roamed the earth before your time, and many more will roam after you are gone, feasting on your flesh, making shelter in your bones.

You are not Lucine. You have never been Lucine. What you think is just falling right back into your fate- your obstinance, your rejection of any fate or design others would put on you- was not gained from her. It was there all along. It was what pulled you to her in the first place.

You are not her. She is a one-sided reflection of you, a prism placed in just the right position to refract one sliver of the spectrum of light.

But one sliver is not the full rainbow.

This is who you are, and this is who you have always been, and it is who you will always be. It comes from inside of you. Nothing a plastic box can buy, or an internet connection can bring.

If any benediction would bind you, may your organs fail before your dreams fail you.

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"Our sense of self – our 'identity' – should not come from what others think about us, how we look, or how we behave, yet we worry about being judged or measured  by others (and falling short of their requirements), and so put on an act, a facade, a mask. We all do it at times – present the 'best-self' out there, when inside, we may be feeling very different to the real 'me' hiding underneath, but when this is happening all the time – this could be a problem.

Such dependency on external validation prevents the real 'you' from being out there..."

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/i-dont-know-who-i-am-anymore-losing-my-identity