On being sometimes crippled by pain
===================================

Woke up yesterday morning with a lot of  pain in my back and a lot of
pain in my foot, which is normal, except for the part about my foot.

Had a hard time getting out of  bed because of my back, and then once
out of bed, had a hard time  getting around because of my back and my
foot.

I've been  dealing with chronic  pain for  my entire adult  life, and
it's a sucky thing.

I've gone through  long periods of making my condition  worse by just
ignoring it because pain felt normal and I kind of forgot and/or lost
hope that I could ever not feel pain.

I got  a job about  five years ago that  offered me a  combination of
things I had not  had before: a really good salary,  lots of time off
no questions asked,  great insurance. And so I went  on a health care
blitz that lead me to living  relatively pain free for long stretches
at a time.

Coronavirus hit and I  lost my job, and I've been  shut up inside for
three months now, unpredictable income,  not getting the care I need,
and I can feel my health and my body deteriorating and I'm fearful of
backsliding  to where  I  was,  because where  I  was was  frequently
immobile, and frequently unable to get around without a cane.

The stress  and the  anxiety and the  depression that  I'm constantly
feeling right now are unprecedented. And  it is taking such a toll on
my mental and physical health.