So it start. I am starting to write down my thoughts and some
experiences in my life. I started the hormonal replacement therapy
(HRT) one month ago. My girlfriend left me and my parents are not
aware of what I am actually doing.

I used to like "fails compilations" on youtube, where people do things
which go wrong. I used to laugh at it, but not anymore. I don't know
if this come with my testosterone being near to zero, but I express
much more empathy than before when people get hurt.

I don't know if this is biological and psychological because I feel
better living my new life.

My HRT is made of two medications: Androcur and Estreva
The first is used to lower my testosterone. It is not very good to
take it for health but it is very effective and I will not take it
for a long time. My endocrinologist told me it was the regular
treatment and I trust her. It is used in prostatic cancer case.

The other one is a gel with female hormones. I need to put it on my
arms and they get sticky after. The doctor said that I should be
careful after using it, if I need to hung someone I should wash
my arms to not transfer it to the other.

This HRT cost like 30€ per month, where the androcur costs 24€ of it.

My workplace is already aware of my changes, this doesn't look much
physically but it starts in my head. I started to wear pink clothes
and I mostly look gay with tights jeans and clothes. A few months
ago, when I tried to "stay the same" to save my couple and keep my
girlfriend, I mostly cut my hair entirely, so I don't have much hairs
on my head... They get curly so I look weird.