not looking foward to working the christmas season.
its just so busy working retail sometimes i feel
like im going through a mental shutdown or
something.

ive been speculating since i was like 13 that i
was maybe possibly neurodivergent, although i didnt
know that word at the time, kids called me quirky
and treated me differently and i knew something was
up.

since the pandemic started i researched on tumblr
about autism and adhd because they seemed interesting,
sources elsewhere where like autism speaks garbage,
but i find myself relating a lot of the experiences 
other people shared, and i pay attention to what
i do in some situations and realize that those are
traits for thosw neurotypes.

im not diagnosed but i heard its difficult for afab
folks to get diagnosed and its worse when youre an 
adult :(

---

ive been putting off going to canadian tire to have 
my brakes looked at, im gonna do it tonight after work,
theyre only gonna get worse and more dangerous if
i dont do anything about it, id rather be at home
on my laptop

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also also, im still trying to figure out what i want
to do with all my extra computers, whenever dad has
an old computer he doesnt need he'll give em to me
because i like old computers, i have a little nas 
server that has alpine on it and idk if i want it to
be a media server to watch my pirated anime on or to
turn it into a minecraft server, but i doubt its 
powerful enough for that. and i have a some extra 
computers that i use if my main laptop is busy for 
that faux multi monitor experience and i use it to
ssh into my nas. i also have my old main laptop that
goes into grub rescue after i tried to install mint.
its hard drive is dying though so thats probably why