I talked with a friend tonight. He's currently writing a book that is superficially about computer science, but more accurately it is about pursuing your passions and rejecting the cynical, jaded naysayers who crush your dreams or get in your way. I offered to give him my perspective in his book.

He and I are very different in a couple key ways. He is, admirably, very motivated by things that are extremely useful and will have a large impact on people. I appreciate that about him--he has huge aspirations and is sure to make an impact wherever he goes.

I, on the other hand, love TempleOS, retro PDAs, the SpyNet Video Watch 2.0, r/cyberdeck posts, the small internet, and doing things myself that have been solved before--I use a window manager that requires you to make your own tweaks and adjustments and can always be improved. In certain ways, it's fairly easy to describe these things as not useful, unnecessary, solving problems that have already been solved, or simply... childish.

I hate that way of thinking.

Not only because it attacks exactly what I'm passionate about and find interesting--but because it's constantly in my head. The same friend and another friend of mine are currently developing a piece of software called DwaK that could be used by countless people to do allll sorts of things. It's a data congregation and analysis program at its core--but the possibilities are endless. Here's the problem--I'm not interested. As much as I love how into it they are, I just can't find the same passion they do for the project. My interests are not inherently aligned with what is "useful" or practical.

It hurts me to say that. It's been drilled into my head that the things I put my time into should be practical, useful, something that pushes us forward in some way. "It's not useful to learn Gemini or Gopher--you won't find work in that field.", "What are you going to use that PDA for? It's going to be a novelty for 5 minutes and then you'll never touch it again.", "I think it's cool that you like this stuff--but what's the point? ... It just doesn't look practical. No one's going to use it."

To that I say--fuck off.

Humans minds are anarchical--they don't by nature fall in line with what is considered "normal". Many artists aren't appreciated in their lifetime. Their passions were misaligned with the masses. Vincent Van Gogh sold *one* painting in his lifetime. To anyone thinking in a more cynical way--he could have spent his time better elsewhere.

But passions are NOT inherently practical. There is inherent value in passion--in the flurry of desire that inspires you to act--to research--to interact--to create. Hear this now: NO one makes the rules. What you are passionate about is *important* and *valuable* and *worthy* of your time as much as anything else--because there is no metric for passion. It is a part of self-expression. It is the expression of your humanity, of your uniqueness, and it is beautiful. No matter how small it is.

Imagine you are in class using lined paper. But instead of using it upright, you like to use the lined paper sideways. Why? The question is pointless. Writing that way is just what you want to do. When someone questions you, you are *appalled* that they think that their expectations apply to you. There are no questions to answer. No, it may not be useful. Or practical. Bah, buzzwords! You are you. You are unique. And you want to use the lined paper sideways.

A boy asks his mom to buy him a PDA. The one he wants is already 30 years old--nowadays, it is not useful for much. But his eyes still sparkle whenever he sees one. He is in love. "But what would you use it for?" she asks. "It's just going to go on the shelf and collect dust." What she doesn't realize, is that if she had bought that item for him, he would have found out that he was interested in what made the device worked. He would have started looking up the components inside it--what makes it tick. 10 years down the line, he becomes a computer engineer and loves his job.

But even if the kid didn't find a job from his search, would you consider it a waste for him to spend so much time on the device? I sure don't. We define ourselves by whatever we wish. What better to make part of your identity than what you love?

Don't place a requirement on yourself to have a reason for loving something. Love. Feel it all. Let all of that passion in--let it rouse your mind and excite you. Follow it, let it lead you, and enjoy it every step of the way.