I wonder if all this strangeness has mostly been caused by clutter. There's a good bit of it here, and a conversation between <a href="http://tilde.town/~karlen">karlen</a> and <a href="http://tilde.town/~insom">insom</a> got me thinking about this.

I've never been great at organization. I've absolutely improved over the years, but I'm practically trying to build a solid structure on a very messy, unstable base. It's not going to work unless I take out that base and rebuild that, but there's just so much it feels like it'd take forever.

I guess as far as files go I've built the new, solid structure on its own ground, separate from the messy base... slowly prodding at that mess and adding it where it needs to go in the new structure, so to speak.

Wow, that's a weird metaphor. But what about applying that to the physical realm? Suddenly, it gets a lot harder. Objects have weight and volume, and you have to think about where these go in relation to other things. With files, you can just put them wherever, even if they're organized you don't have to worry about putting everything in such a spot physically that it becomes inaccessible.

And that's where I'm at right now: there's just too much, I need storage space, and I lack the means to get rid of some of it. I'm going to want to get money out of getting rid of stuff if I can, because hooray work being work :)

It's just kind of infuriating. I can't just let go of something without doing it "properly", and that just holds me back to the point of no progress. It's not like files, where it's entirely your jurisdiction. You can't sell an image file like you can a DVD, so you don't worry about it. With the DVD, there's some sort of obligation to try to reclaim something from it, especially if resources are tight.

summary: i'm a mess and trying to improve but there's only so much I can do without help, and I feel as though I've bumped up against that limit.