Never had a better physique, however body dysmorphia is killing me
	i feel the need to run and train everyday

i'm the thinnest i've ever been, but i can't stop from starving my self
	down to 73kg, lost 5 kg in the last 3 weeks

i'm surrounded by friends, but i can't stand nobody
	whenever somebody talks to me i just nod and answer them nicely but i
	just want them to leave me alone

went on dates with some cute girls, i still dont feel satisfied
	i feel lonely sometimes, i miss real affection, but i
	dont want the commitment of a serious relationship

But there's a good thing: University is going very well, been following my last 
lectures and working on my internship with no problems at all, i have been really 
enjoyin it, that's on of the few things that really satisfies me lately.


u know, reading this entry feels like reading the rant of some privileged rich
kid who only has first world problems, and it actually is, Everything is fucking
great objectivly speaking. SO WHY ON EARTH I DONT FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.

that's so weird for me, i'm a pretty rational person, i grow up in a pretty harsh
environement so i'm also a very grateful and "simple" person.

maybe it's just saturday night and i'm pretty bored
i been gaslighting myself as usual, convincing my self that if everything is right
then i should feel alright. It works mostly, but there are few downs here and there.

also very nostalgic recently

I'll get through this too i know, i'm stronger than this stupid paranoia

wish u all the best
see ya <3