2022-10-08 Land of the Neverman ==================== Jindrich, Vlasta, Siskewicz ACT 1 "Steal this script" * A bus heading to Pilsen. Jindrich and Vlasta occupy seats by the exit. The bus is otherwise relatively empty. Siskewicz sits behind the driver. Jindrich: "And that's it!" Vlasta: "That's a terrible story. Did she make it?" Jindrich: "What? Who? Oh... No, she died in the fire like the rest of them." Vlasta: "I don't know, man, that sounds like a terrible fate for all involved." Jindrich: "Yeah, sure, I know what you mean, but the point of the whole story is that the murderer was the main character. It's so well written that nobody ever expects it." Vlasta: "But she did die in the fire and the author, whatever his name was -" Jindrich: "[REDACTED]." Vlasta: "Right, the guy who wrote it didn't bother to give her a proper send-off." Jindrich: "What do you mean? The story was not about her. She was just another victim." Vlasta: "Come on, she was the sole survivor. The reader expects some sort of retribution; here it just ends in a fiery building with no resolution!" Jindrich: "I don't know what you mean. The killer died in the flames and so did the last survivor. It's pretty unusual to write an ending like that, you're fishing for an estabilished ending which just isn't here. This is revolutionary." Vlasta: "I can see why this 'amazing' author of yours never published anything in print." Jindrich: "You're kidding right? [REDACTED] was a hardcore digitalist. Not only was he a vegan, he swore to never soil a single leaf of paper with printer ink. He did just that. He was well known in the hacker circles for his technical guides, but his fiction found little appreciation." Vlasta: "That sounds like... what's the word..." Jindrich: "No! No, no, no. I know what you're going for-" Vlasta: "Cope." Jindrich: "Look... Listen - You asked what was the last thing I read, I told you. Then you we're all like 'oooh sounds interesting, what's it about?' So I give you the gist. THEN you're so enthralled that you want me to give you the whole story, and when I'm done, you decide to take a major dump on all of it." Vlasta: "Just because I wanted to hear what it was about doesn't make it a not-a-shitty-story." Jindrich: "Nobody really thinks the way you do." Vlasta: "Excuse me?" Jindrich: "Conversations rarely follow a script like this one. There's sighs, empty echoes, awkward si-" Vlasta: "Now you're voluntarily spilling your scripting career into this?!" Jindrich: "What, 'echoes?'" Vlasta: "printf me impressed, you are an idiot!" Jindrich: "You're this close from ruining this whole ordeal." Vlasta: "Oooh, look at me, I'm a unix surrealist. Please." Jindrich: "People don't talk like this!" Vlasta: "I was there when your mother got a month long paid leave to learn basic." Jindrich: "What..." * Siskewicz stands up, gathers his bag from above his seat and walks towards the exit, as the bus begins to pull over. Vlasta: "You just can't comprehend how people communicate. You've always been stuck in your personal cyber space." Jindrich: "Geez, sorry I brought you along." Vlasta: "No harm done." Siskewicz: "rm rf, am I right?" * Vlasta and Jindrich look at Siskewicz in disapproval.