WEBVTT title 00:00.000 --> 00:01.529 Horace Harold Schmunken by S.W. Black Copyright © 2017 S.W. Black. Some Rights Reserved. Creative Commons Attribution License. 00:01.529 --> 00:33.489 <00:01.529>I think <00:04.310>I might <00:06.504>sing a story. <00:10.083>What kind of story <00:14.289>should I sing? <00:17.972>How about the one that's full of glory? <00:26.488>How about the one <00:29.623>that's fun for me? 00:33.489 --> 00:57.704 <00:33.489>I would like <00:38.400>to tell you about <00:42.188>a man. <00:43.233>A man <00:44.278>named Horace <00:45.767>Harold Schmunken. <00:49.554>Horace Harold Schmunken, <00:53.290>he was a yucky man. 00:57.704 --> 01:15.781 <00:57.704>Horace Harold Schmunken, <01:02.328>he liked to dig in dirt, that's right. <01:06.730>He liked to dig in dirt. <01:11.131>What kind kind of dirt did he did in? 01:15.781 --> 01:40.833 <01:15.781>Did he dig in Garden's dirt? <01:19.177>No! <01:20.300>Not that Horace! <01:24.114>Horace Harold Schmunken! <01:27.876>Not that Horace! <01:31.977>He liked to dig in social dirt. <01:36.392>He liked to dig in social dirt. 01:40.833 --> 01:57.055 <01:40.833>Horace Harold Schmunken, <01:44.725>he was not a good man. <01:48.513>And one day he decided to go <01:52.953>as far as he could. 01:57.055 --> 02:14.034 <01:57.055>He went far away to <02:01.313>a distant, distant land and <02:05.518>he dig in the trash of <02:09.776>a very important person. 02:14.034 --> 02:30.831 <02:14.034>Horace Harold Schmunken <02:18.501>dug in the trash of a wizard. <02:22.393>Horace Harold Schmunken <02:26.495>dug in the trash of our favorite wizard! 02:30.831 --> 02:50.815 <02:30.831>Horace Harold Schmunken <02:35.324>found a destroyed, damaged artifact. <02:39.321>Horace Harold Schmunken, <02:42.795>he thought it looked good on his shelf. <02:47.523>He took that for himself. 02:50.815 --> 03:08.134 <02:50.815>Horace Harold Schmunken, <02:56.222>he had the artifact. <03:00.637>Horace Harold Schmunken, <03:04.242>he would not give it back. 03:08.134 --> 03:46.944 <03:08.134>He found it in the trash, and <03:12.392>he thought it looked so fun, but <03:16.441>that artifact, that artifact <03:21.169>needed to be burned and <03:24.643>that old wizard's trash was <03:28.823>all slated to be burned, but <03:32.924>without the artifact there <03:36.842>that artifact survived. <03:40.682>That artifact survived! <03:45.097> 03:46.944 --> 04:18.612 <03:46.944>That little artifact, <03:52.202>that little artifact, <03:57.897>it looked like a little statue, but <04:03.278>it was in fact <04:08.189>a demon turned to stone <04:13.022>by that wizard's gleeful eye. 04:18.612 --> 04:44.865 <04:18.612>A demon turned to stone with <04:23.340>a wooden heart inside. <04:28.408>And that wooden heart, <04:31.817>protected by that stone, <04:36.898>still would be destroyed in <04:40.738>fire, oh so fine, but 04:44.865 --> 05:01.636 <04:44.865>Horace <04:46.015>Harold Schmunken, <04:49.358>he stole that artifact. <04:53.878>Horace Harold Schmunken, <04:57.900>he stole that arifact. 05:01.636 --> 05:17.753 <05:01.636>That demon in that stone <05:06.782>slowly gained his powers back. <05:10.727>That demon in that stone, its <05:13.652>heart, it grew <05:15.533>in fact. 05:17.753 --> 05:34.106 <05:17.753>It grew and sprouted from within <05:21.750>expanding the stoney outer shell. <05:25.904>It grew and spread all troughout sin and <05:30.109>soon it was in the room as well. 05:34.106 --> 05:49.414 <05:34.106>And Horace Harold Schmunken's room, it <05:38.233>had this weird, weird, weird-weird thing. <05:42.335>And Horace Harold Schmunken, he <05:45.887>touched it and sealed his doom! 05:49.414 --> 06:06.002 <05:49.414>Horace Harold Schmunken, <05:53.541>he was an evil man, and <05:57.747>Horace Harold Schmunken, <06:02.057>he touched that artifact. 06:06.002 --> 06:23.713 <06:06.002>Horace Harold Schmunken, he <06:10.547>would not live that long. <06:14.410>He touched that growing oscene thing and then <06:19.507>he sprouted two long dongs. 06:23.713 --> 06:39.308 <06:23.713>Two long dongs reached to the ground and <06:27.396>threw him to the sky. <06:31.184>Two long dongs they grew <06:33.639>to ground and soon <06:35.624>he was so high, because 06:39.308 --> 06:55.190 <06:39.308>Horace Harold Schmunken, he <06:43.174>touched that artifact. <06:47.510>Evil grew inside of him and stretched <06:51.373>and stretched him to the sky. 06:55.190 --> 07:11.326 <06:55.190>Horace Harold Schmunkin <06:59.327>with the evil now within. <07:04.098>It saw the evil there before and <07:07.134>and knew he was his kin. 07:11.326 --> 07:26.616 <07:11.326>Horace Harold Schmunken <07:15.001>and the demon now within, <07:19.536>Horace Harold Schmunken <07:22.315>they wanted, oh, to win. 07:26.616 --> 07:43.922 <07:26.616>But, you know, it took them just a little <07:32.362>longer than they thought. <07:35.676>In his hut, it grew and sprouted <07:39.460>soon it was not for naught. 07:43.922 --> 07:59.478 <07:43.922>He did finish <07:47.327>transforming his insides and <07:51.928>soon Horace Schmunken's <07:55.390>shell it split aside. 07:59.478 --> 08:15.438 <07:59.478>And out crawled the demon <08:02.971>with Horace now inside. <08:07.650>Out, crawled the demon, and <08:11.651>it's Horace's turn to cry, because 08:15.438 --> 08:31.504 <08:15.438>Horace Harold Schmunken, <08:19.644>he touched that artifact. <08:23.073>Horace Harold Schmunken <08:27.059>that demon's now got a snack. 08:31.504 --> 08:46.942 <08:31.504>That demon as it crawled out it <08:35.213>ate all that Horace had loved. <08:39.314>Horace was an evil man, and <08:42.998>loved nothing so that's what it was. 08:46.942 --> 09:02.632 <08:46.942>Horace Harold Schmunken <08:50.364>prevented that evil's growth because <08:55.039>Horace Harold Schmunken <08:58.305>had nothing to feed its soul, and so 09:02.632 --> 09:39.161 <09:02.632>Horace Harold Schmunken <09:05.593>and the evil he was inside, <09:09.460>Horace Harold Schmunken, <09:12.882>he was not all bad inside, because <09:17.508>Horace Harold Schmunken <09:20.797>even though he was pure evil, <09:24.898>Horace Harold Schmunken <09:27.902>had nothing good left that he could feel, and <09:31.742>Horace Harold Schmunken <09:35.112>had nothing to feed that demon. 09:39.161 --> 09:55.513 <09:39.161>Horace Harold Schmunken <09:42.087>starved that demon within. <09:45.143>But inside <09:48.591>that demon's breast, <09:50.606>you know <09:51.621>Horace, he cried. 09:55.513 --> 10:17.900 <09:55.513>Inside that demon's breast, <09:58.644>Horace could not survive <10:02.514>Horace Harold Schmunken, <10:06.772>he whithered from within. <10:10.664>Horace Harold Schmunken <10:14.287>was consumed by his sin. 10:17.900 --> 10:33.051 <10:17.900>And that demon as it grew it <10:22.184>walked along the land. <10:25.633>It was sometimes confused for a <10:29.142>human from the human lands. 10:33.051 --> 10:49.535 <10:33.051>That demon it wanted to <10:36.944>find the wizard that had locked it. <10:40.993>That demon, <10:41.959>it wanted, <10:45.277>wanted to destroy that wizard. 10:49.535 --> 11:11.373 <10:49.535>That wizard, he did <10:52.748>not know the demon was free. <10:55.974>Yes, that wizard, he did <10:59.749>not think to see. <11:02.805>And as the demon walked, <11:07.029>eventually, he did find. 11:11.373 --> 11:39.716 <11:11.373>He found the wizard's home <11:13.795>with the wizard's kids inside. <11:18.060>That demon it was now hungry <11:21.561>it had <11:24.016>shrunken quite small, <11:26.733>it looked like a wee child itself, and <11:29.769>it wanted to eat more. <11:33.734> 11:39.716 --> 12:21.769 <11:39.716>However, <11:44.287>the children of a wizard <11:49.407>know things that other children might not think of. <11:58.106>They knew how to spot that <12:02.129>demon in that child. <12:06.753>They knew the demon was there inside. <12:13.192>For that demon you know <12:17.698>it now looked like a child. 12:21.769 --> 12:42.175 <12:21.769>That demon, you know was <12:25.300>quite hungry inside. <12:30.028>But that wizard's good <12:33.868>children, yes, <12:36.323>offered <12:37.211>the demon some food. 12:42.175 --> 13:56.624 <12:42.175>Enchanted food it was, of course, and the <12:48.104>demon's head it blew! That <12:53.068>head blew off its neck, and <12:58.998>the neck unfurled big and <13:04.562>inside that demon's bloody chest there <13:10.439>was a little pig, and <13:15.690>those kids they decided that <13:21.019>the pig should be named Horace, in <13:26.687>honor of that horrible thing that stole the demon before, and <13:36.718>after that pig they grew, <13:41.760>the children butchered it, and <13:45.913>they all ate that piggy's flesh even <13:51.242>the littlest kid, and so 13:56.624 --> 14:17.000 <13:56.624>Horace Harold Schmunken <14:01.482>he got what he deserved, and <14:06.132>the children of the wizard, <14:11.174>enjoyed their barbeque. <14:15.484> <14:17.000>