And another BFF!
                                            Wednesday, November 15, 2022


 Some time ago I wrote about my career-long frienship with Ramon [1].
 Also in my last post I talked about the awful stuff that's been going on in
 my personal life lately [2].

 The thing is, even in this dark period I managed to get one of those rare
 individuals who become friends for life. Lets talk about Rubén.

 I've known Rubén for a long time, from the days of my brief stint in
 politics [*1]. He was just an acquaintance, really.

 Anyway, Rubén owns a small restaurant and I use to order to take away from
 time to time, when I have some friends to watch a match at home or such
 occasions.

 Not particularly interested in elaborating about my cheating ex-wife but
 here we are, a few days after my becoming aware of the situation, and I had
 to order some burgers.

 I remember going to Rubén's with my brother in law, him being at the kitchen
 cause it was particularly busy at the moment. After paying, I approached
 the litle kitchen window, greeted, and told him I'd find another moment
 to come over and chat a bit.

 That was it! Just some pleasantry trying not to be rude.
 Less than a minute all in all.

 Come next day, I found a missed call from Rubén. That was somewhat odd, so
 I decided to make good on the compromise and a few days latter went back to
 Rubén's in the afternoon. After days of not sleeping, not eating, and
 being fully unable to think about anything but my no defunct marriage, I
 wasn't in the mood for small talk but there I went.

 Upon arriving, he said hello, served me the biggest beer available, and
 went about his business attending some tables.

 Ten minutes latter he comes back and is all like "yeah, I was right last
 time, now we go out to have a cigarette".

 - OK, now you tell me what's going on
 - Well, nothing really
 - Cut the crap, you're a mess and clearly have no one to talk to
 - I don't know what you talking about..
 - Saw it clearly the other day when you came, and it's getting worse
   doesn't it?

 At that point I broke. It was true: first time I just knew there was
 treason, not the full extent of the situation I now knew. And I hadn't had
 anyone to talk to.

 In the few months since Rubén has become my rock. Always calling if a
 few days go by, introducing me to his on family and relatives, etc.
 What amazes me more is that in our conversations he even has succeeded in
 steering me away from hate feelings towards my ex!

 I had been doing a decent job of acting normal, even my own family hadn't
 noticed anything so odd as to ask. But Rubén had seen troght though it.

 I asked him about this at some point. His reply:
 
    "You have to actually "LOOK" with attention at people"

 He's right! You have to pay attention to people, always. Then you can
 notice changes, expressions, needs or whatever. I must admit that most
 of the time I haven't been paying attention.

 But now I do I "LOOK" at everyone, and it's paying of.

 So here we are. Not only is Rubén my dearest friend, not only has he helped
 me navigate through very dark times; he has made a better human being out
 of me!
 
 Gracias por estar ahí Rubén

Notes
-----
[*1] Note to self: write a post on when I postulated to be town Major

References
----------
 [1] gopher://zaibatsu.circumlunar.space/0/~andram/phlog/being_kind_matters.txt
 [2] gopher://zaibatsu.circumlunar.space/0/~andram/phlog/staying-alive.txt