I have been keeping a list of front page news story titles from
foxnews.com and cnn.com recently, to give me fodder for conversations
about how little coverage they give to real news.  I was keeping
the headlines recorded in a sort of genericized format, because the
specific details are almost always irrelevant (furthering the point
that the news is not important).  Then I noticed that my list starting
looking a bunch of titles you would expect to see on theonion.com.
But just as I was going to write them up anyway, this gem came across
the front page of foxnews.com:

Giant spider hauls away man's pet goldfish for dinner
https://www.foxnews.com/science/giant-spider-hauls-away-goldfish

Friends, do not worry about the threat posed by unregulated
corporations.  Have no fear that their ownership of mainstream news
media is not just a form of profit, but also a way to kill stories
about corporate pillaging of the environment or support for
tyrranical governments.  Those stories probably aren't real anyway.
Right?

Instead, look! A giant spider was caught preying on a pet goldfish!
Can you believe it?  International front page news!