New Years Resolutions
---------------------

Here we are, the current year draws to a close. For many, this year must
have been quite horrible, be it the curtailment of their beloved
freedoms, lifestyles or simply habits; or be it even much worse: the 
loss of a person very dear to them.
While I'm lucky and happy to say the last mentioned case did not occur
in my family or any aquaintances, the last year made me realize how
little I was affected by the pandemic.

So myself, I was able to keep doing my job (which I don't particularly
like but which does grant me stability) while physically being at the
office - only next year might actually entail homeoffice - I can still
do groceries without issue and can walk about freely. The only thing I
personally found restricting was I couldn't 'eat out' anymore at
bistros and the like. Sure, you can just take away order foods or even
have them be delivered to you but the amounts of trash that accumulate
through this are bad enough to make me not want to do it - just the
normal plastic trash is way too much already. And since my kitchen
situation is awful, lots of sort of ready made dishes, that just need 
to be waremd up, are my daily bread and butter.
So just from this, I realized I lead a bleak life; I go to work, I do
the groceries, I quickly warm up some food or mash left-overs together
and then I sit or lie in front of computers, mindlessly consuming
YouTube and other content alike. [1]

Even before the pandemic I've been very reclusive or antisocial, however
you want to call it. Ever since two of my friends moved away, only one
remains here and I'm very certain they will be away once the
opportunity presents itself. I don't fault them of course, quite the
opposite, I'm very jealous. Through determination and hard work, they
managed to find a new path for themself, a task I failed at, or rather
never really spent any energy worth noting in.
Otherwise I might meet up with work colleagues once in a while over
beer. But for the most part, these things happen when I get asked, not
me proposing any such activities.

What comes from mindlessly consuming content? Less actual free time for
actually enjoyable things, but also for the less pleasent things:
chores.
For many years now my flat has been a mess, only ever doing the bare
minimum, like still having enough clean plates to eat from or collecting
dust when it really gets out of hand and so on. I procrastinate until it
gets out of hand, and even though after cleaning there is a sense of
accomplishment, I never get into the habit of doing it often.  


Therefore I formulate the following New Years Resolutions:

* finish the python ebook I started and really find out whether I'm
  suited to be a programmer. Plenty of other ebooks are on the New
  Starch Press stack I already bought and I should be able to come up 
  with a few ideas for personal projects
  The plan is to be creative myself and not let the internet overflow me
  with an endless stream of things I'll never have to time to actually
  delve into, I need to focus and I need to stay at it!
  If this works, I'm hoping to eventually make a career out of it.

* be more social. I need to rid myself of the feeling that I'm some kind
  of burden for friends and actively seek out conversation and activity.
  Only in doing so will I gain new perspective and hopefully motivation.

* be more disciplined. These last few months of the current year I
  actually did some sort of experiment: I quit coffee. I identified
  coffee as one bad habit (it coincides with YouTube binging) and even
  though I thought I couldn't make do without it when the next early
  work shift comes around, I managed just fine. If I can transform that
  success of breaking a bad habit onto other things that don't go so
  well in my life, I will change for the better.

I may have formulated similar resolutions or parts thereof in earlier
years but this time I'm writing it down and I'm sharing it with you. 
I hope this will be the necessary trigger to pull through with it.

Thank you for reading, have a happy new year, stay healthy and see you
in the future!

[1] gopher://zaibatsu.circumlunar.space/0/~fmoon/phlog/20201207-unintended-hiatus.txt