2020-07-13 // on happiness
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Hello, fellow denizens of port 70!

Last year was a tumultuous one in my life. Frankly, the better part
of the last decade was upended by my own obstinacy and desire. But --
I've found my center again and, consequently, am feeling significantly
happier and more content.

One of the things I started doing more of in the last year or so was
reading. And one of the (short) books I read was Bertrand Russell's "The
Conquest of Happiness" [0]. I don't rightly remember much of it, but
skimmed it again whilst typing out this phlog entry. Russell's take, if
I'm interpreting it correctly, is that a central part of "happiness" is
the convergence of identity. That is, the closer one's actions are to
one's beliefs, the higher the likelihood of that person being happy.

Something interesting that happened last year: I took refuge [1], which
is an undertaking / ceremony in Buddhism roughly analogous to Baptism in
Christianity. And also not much like it at all, but I digress.

Anyway, one of the most important parts of taking refuge is, well,
owning your shit, so to speak. There are precepts in Buddhism, things
that guide you away from eating meat, for instance. Not taking
intoxicants. That sort of thing. At the root of the precepts, and
really everything, is suffering. That is, they're a bit like the doctor
prescribing a diet. The doctor isn't proscribing junk food because they
don't want you to be happy; they're doing it because it's making you
unwell.

Actually, that's a pretty good metaphor, really. Someone with a
compulsion for junk food may be better served by examining *why* they
want the junk food and how it will affect them as opposed to adhering to
a black-and-white blanket ban on dessert.

It took me a while to grok this, but the key point for me is that
moderation is key. Moderation in all things, including beating myself
up. A healthy understanding of the things you could do better is fine,
but let it go, too.

So, yeah. I suppose I'm pretty content these days. I have my ups and
downs, but if you were to take the seven-day moving average of my mood,
it's pretty dang good. I'm thankful for this moment.

I suppose Bertrand Russell had a point about that whole convergence
thing. :)

Until next time, sundogs!

kvothe@SDF.ORG

[0]: https://www.russell-j.com/beginner/COH-TEXT.HTM
[1]: gopher://gopherpedia.com/0/Refuge%20%28Buddhism%29