Loosing my cool (zaibatsu), 05/17/2019
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I don't know about you, but I lose my cool from time to 
time. Certain things rattle me, and cause me to lose that 
inner peace that makes life reasonable. It's almost all an 
internal process, usually with only an external catalyst 
which is still really just triggering internal issues.

For me, issues of personal liberty cause me a lot of grief. 
I know I've got it good in life, and that I can't complain, 
but certain things just rub me the wrong way anyway. 
Yesterday, the neighbor mentioned off-hand that he thought 
us burning sticks in our above-ground, commercial fire pit 
might be against city ordinances. We're not talking slash 
plies here, just a normal fire pit like you'd buy at any 
hardware store. We're not talking a bonfire, just a little 
fire to burn a few sticks and roast a few marshmallows on.

I mentioned that I'd have to look up such a ridiculous city 
ordinance for myself, and that I couldn't believe it. That I 
did, but the city ordinances are primarily a collection of 
"we've adopted such-and-such international standards for 
this" with said standards costing money, being hard to find, 
or being so vast as to be unreadable. So, I emailed the fire 
chief, who has yet to respond.

The problem is that I don't want to be governed. I don't 
like social contracts. I'm generally a self-willed 
individual, and I wish that the world would just let me be 
who I want to be. I'm not hurting anyone, and I try to be a 
good person. I'm entirely unreasonable, I know, but it's how 
I feel. Living in a city is OK, but for me personally it has 
some downsides.

The thing that gets  me is that such a small thing derailed 
me. It brought a bunch of issues up to the surface, and 
generally ruined my day. It's all inside me, but that 
doesn't make it more enjoyable.

I'm feeling better about it today. Life is what it is, and 
in the end it's not bad at all. If the city really is so 
ridiculous that I can't burn a few sticks in my backyard, 
then oh well. Life will go on. We'll roast marshmallows on 
the gas stove, or get a BBQ. It's not that bad. The rest of 
the vast world of society's rules that gets under my skin 
will just have to remain, and I'll have to learn not to be 
such a self-centered being.