Being middle aged (circumlunar.space), 01/02/2020 ------------------------------------------------------------ So, I turn 42 this year. I was recently doing some online indexing of the 1876 Missouri census (I figured, I live in this state, I should contribute something), and found that the "Age" category was broken down thusly: Under 10 Years 10 to 18 18 to 21 21 to 45 Over 45 (As a side note, my wife used to say "thusly" and I at first thought to myself, "that's not a word, what the heck is she saying?" But, it is a word. I don't like it much, but it does work.) As I went along with the indexing, I noticed that very few people showed up in the "Over 45" category. Seriously few people, tragically few. Without looking into any statistics, I'm guessing that the life expectancy at that time and in that place, was low. Around me I see and interact with folks who are in their 60's and 70's quite frequently. Life expectancy is up, I guess. These people are often quite youthful and exuberant for their ages. Learning their ages, at times, was a shock, because they seemed young. I can't help thinking to myself, "tfurrows, you probably have another 30-50 years, if you're lucky and you play your cards right." My father died of cancer at 65, my grandfather on his side died of old age at 90, my other grandfather died in his late 60's or early 70's (we don't know for sure) of some catastrophic health issue (again, we don't know for sure.) I take care of myself, to a degree. 30-50 more years doesn't sound outlandish. Of course, no one knows for sure. There's always the proverbial bus that could hit me tomorrow. There's any number of things that could go wrong. But, barring all of those, maybe another 30-50 years tops. Then again, science could save us all with eternal youth. Still, it'd take forever to get that stuff through the FDA, then it'd cost a fortune. Only the rich would live forever, it's certain. So, 30-50 years. Now, with 41 years under my belt, I'm in a reasonable position to make some plans for the next n years. That *ought* to be the case, at least. I know the kinds of things I like (though, I could find more!) and the kinds of things I don't like (though, I could change!) and the sorts of subjects that interest me (though, you never know!). I should come up with a plan. And, I should stick with it. But, I'm not that awesome. I can hardly plan my day or my week, let alone the next few decades. I'm going to have to go higher level, and aim for larger targets. Here's what I've got so far: 1. Career change. I know it's cliché, but it's where I'm at. To be honest, this has been building for a number of years. I started in one place career-wise, migrated through a few other places, and ended up where I am. I'm not really willing to pursue this course any longer, and want something else. This is a huge subject, which I'll probably drone on about in some other post. The world of careers is like an alien landscape to me at present, a distant and distorted vision, a spectacle. I don't understand it, even though I've been a part of it since '96. But, I know I need a change. 2. Education. Also cliché, I'm considering more education. Not because I think it'll help with the career thing (I have no such delusion; not to judge if you do, you may be right), but because I want to be learning and growing throughout my life. I view it as my privilege, as a part of the Information Age. I don't know what this will look like; I'm fine with formal schooling, but I'm not convinced it is the only way to achieve continual education- in fact, I think it often stands in the way of education. All I know here is, I want to continue a course of education that has some kind of focus. 3. Financial prowess. I'm a bumbling buffoon when it comes to personal finances. I've gone to classes, read books, tried methods, installed software, poked and swiped at apps, and done every other inane and insane thing under the sun. I just can't get a grasp on it. This thing that seems to come so easily to some, eludes me, slipping through my fingers like water. In the next 30-50 years, I'd like to get a handle on it. 4. Health. Clicé. This one is kinda important, if I actually want to live 30-50 more years. Maybe; my grandfather on my father's side was the poster child for bad health habits, but lived to 90. It's a crap shoot. Still, if I *do* live longer, I don't want to live poorly. I'd like my mobility, among other things, to be sustained for as long as possible. My health is decent, but could be better. I've never been purposeful about my health. I'd like to improve here. That's all I've got, and it seems like enough to me right now. I'm sure life will throw other things at me, as it is wont to do. It is interesting, this particular time in life. When my father was this age, he was reading all kinds of self improvement books. He quit smoking, joined AA, and went nuts with building his business. It was kind of cool to watch, as a kid. Maybe these are the kinds of things we do when we get to be around 40, I don't know. In any case, it does feel good, in a way.