2018-12-28 21:48:36 =================== Today was my aunt's funeral. I was asked to be a pallbearer. It was actually my second time doing so. It was definitely an honor for such a great lady. Throughout the funeral they all talked about how patient and kind and caring she was. There was a time that her daughter spoke of where she just threw her doll into the front seat of the car, and mom took the doll and said, "Don't ever treat your doll like that!" Then she picked up the doll and wrapped in in her blanket and put it on hoer shoulder and patted it's back. Her daughter said, "Oh mom, it's just a doll!" But then her mom said, "Oh, I bought these so you could practice being good mommies, don't ever treat your dolls like that!" They also spoke of a time when they were walking down the street and they saw some lady rushing her child who was trying to stop and pick up rocks. Their mom said, not mean or judging, but just pleading with them - "Don't ever rush a child or keep them from picking things up." Everyone spoke of times that she would let kids help in the kitchen, doing as much as she could let them do - whether that was scooping cookies, which made for "interestingly sized cookies", even letting the kids crack the eggs. She wasn't as much concerned with how many people she needed to feed or how soon as she was with helping kids learn how to help. It was a great reminder about what's really important in life. I was pretty much going fine until we were singing the closing hymn - "God Be With You (Till We Meet Again)". It's a song that I've sang many times before. This time, I was reminded that she was pretty instrumental in my being part of a dedicatory choir at one point in my life. I also recalled that at the viewing the night before I was talking to her daughter who said, that the two sister were trying to figure out what all things their mom would want for her funeral and they kind of put together this program... And then one of the granddaughters was looking in Grandma's phone and found what she wanted for her funeral program, and the daughter said, "Well, of course Mom would have been that organised!". When I thought about that, it was as the voice of one crying from the dust, and the fact that she knew we would be there, mourning her, and she wanted to leave us with comforting words... That just struck me and I pretty much just started sobbing. I kept trying to sing, but I couldn't ever really get going again. My son gave me a hug and told me< "I'm sorry your aunt died." And he is just 5 years old! So that kind of set off fresh waves of grief. It was also an odd experience at the viewing. My cousin that I looked up to and always wanted to be like, he came and asked me if _I_ had any advice (because I lost my brother to cancer 8 years ago). The role reversal was really strange for me. I'm sad that the earth has one less shining star on it. But I'm happy that she's no longer suffering through the pain and downright torture of the treatments that she was receiving.