(TXT) View source
       
       # 2022-01-12 - S.T.A.R. Plan and The Five A's
       
       Found this content in an educational context.  I am also including
       Wikipedia content on conflict resolution and I-messages.
       
       # S.T.A.R. Plan
       
       * Stop yourself from choosing to say or do something that will
         cause conflict.
       * Think about why you want to appeal--and about which words to use.
       * Appeal in a respectful way, using I messages and questions to
         communicate facts, concerns, and preferences.
       * Respond respectfully and accept the decision whether the appeal
         is or is not granted.
       
       This resembles the self-regulation technique Stop, Think, Act, Review
       and also the book titled Stop, Think, Act by Megan C. McClelland and
       Shauna L. Tominey.
       
       # The Five A's
       
       1. Admit what I did wrong.
       2. Apologize for how my choice affected you.
       3. Ask for forgiveness.
       4. Accept the consequences.
       5. Alter (change) my choice in the future.
       
       These map to The Five Languages of Apology.
       
       1. Admit               = I was wrong
       2. Apologize           = I am sorry
       3. Ask forgiveness     = Requesting forgiveness
       4. Accept consequences = Making restitution
       5. Change              = Genuinely repenting
       
 (DIR) The Five Languages of Apology
       
       # Conflict Resolution In The Classroom
       
       1. Clarifying and focusing: problem ownership.
       
       Problem ownership is defined as deciding who should take ownership of
       the behavior or conflict in the issue.  The main person who is
       bothered by the root problem is also the "owner" of the problem, and
       thus the owner of a problem needs to be the one who takes primary
       responsibility for solving the issue.  It is important to ask
       clarifying questions to really understand the root causes of the
       conflict. 
       
       2. Active listening
       
       Active listening is attending carefully to all aspects of what a
       person says and attempting to understand or empathize as much as one
       can.  Active listening consists of continually asking questions in
       order to test one's understanding.  It also requires giving
       encouragement to the speaker by letting them tell their story, and
       paraphrasing what the speaker says so that an unbiased conclusion can
       be made.  Responding too soon with solutions can shut down the
       speaker's communication and leave an inaccurate impressions of the
       source or nature of the problem.
       
       3. Assertive discipline and I-messages
       
       The listener's comments should be assertive, emphasize I-messages,
       and encourage the speaker to think about the effects of her or his
       behavior.  They should not be passive, apologetic, hostile or
       aggressive, but matter-of-fact...
       
       4. Negotiation
       
       Negotiating is defined as methodically deliberating various options
       and deciding on one if possible.  Even though negotiation demands
       time and energy, it often demands less time or effort ultimately than
       continuing to cope with the problem.  The results of negotiation can
       be valuable to everyone involved in the situation.
       
       From:
 (TXT) Conflict resolution @Wikipedia
       
       # I-Message
       
       An I-message is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values,
       etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence
       beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message",
       which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person
       spoken to.  I-messages are often used with the intent to be assertive
       without putting the listener on the defensive by avoiding
       accusations.  They are also used to take ownership for one's feelings
       rather than implying that they are caused by another person.
       
       From:
 (TXT) I-message @Wikipedia
       
       tags: article,conflict resolution,self-help
       
       # Tags
       
 (DIR) article
 (DIR) conflict resolution
 (DIR) self-help